


Chihiro

by Swansae



Category: Sen to Chihiro no Kamikakushi | Spirited Away
Genre: Alice in Wonderland References, Chihiro - Freeform, F/M, Gen, Post-Canon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-03-09
Updated: 2017-10-18
Packaged: 2018-03-17 03:28:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 42,040
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3513605
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Swansae/pseuds/Swansae
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Seven years have passed. Chihiro has lost all memories of her time in the Spirit World, but they haven't forgotten her. When you're young, so many things go over your head, like the fact that you've impressed the people in power. An underground war has broken out, one that most people don't even realize is happening. Chihiro would never have found out, until Haku shows up one day at school. Can he keep her safe and out of the chaos? Will she let him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Meltdown

Once upon a time, the oceans were born and the earth laid down within it. The worlds were one then. The water people, the dragons, were the first people. To them, the gods gave dominion over the oceans. And so it came to be that the most beautiful castle grew of the water like a great reef at the western border of the Great Sea, where one dragon brought his bride, Amaterasu. Since then, the worlds have been violently cleaved. Amaterasu has long since left. Her husband has died. The palace has passed through the hands of generations of their children. This is where our story begins.

On this day, an old man came to this palace. He looked to be eighty years old at least. In truth he was much older. He muttered to himself as he walked, so involved in his thoughts that he didn’t seem to notice any of the wonders around him. He was not stopped nor questioned. Doors opened before him unprompted until he reached the antechamber of the throne room.

A younger man stood there on the dais. He had angular features and a short black beard. His long hair was tied back loosely, and hung until it blended into the shadows of his flowing, floor-length kimono. Seeing him, the old man lost his preoccupation.

“My prince,” he greeted the younger man, bowing low respectfully.

The prince only acknowledged this deference with the slightest of nods – an insult. “You’re here to see my father,” he said curtly.

It wasn’t a question – another insult – but the old man gave no indication of taking offense. “Yes,” he agreed mildly.

“As you can see, he’s busy. Too busy to attend to any business of yours, Tenryu. Especially if it concerns your obsession with the humans.”

“My prince, would we walk away from all that we have loved and protected for eons?” Tenryu asked. “Walk away from our homes and from our very souls?” Tenryu was not surprised that the prince was acting this way, but had hoped otherwise.

“If we stay, it would only be to repulse the slime,” the prince said lightly, as though discussing the weather. “Not to coddle the devils who are slaughtering those very homes and souls.”

“The humans aren’t evil, my prince. They have only made a very grievous error.”

“Are you blind and deaf, Tenryu?” The prince spat, “or have you been cowering in your den these past centuries? Have you not tasted the poisoned air and breathed the sickened water? Did you not feel the earth shaking only yesterday in protest to the abomination the monsters have unleashed? In many places I can no longer feel starlight on my scales, and it breaks my heart. It breaks my heart more than the spilling of blood on my slopes. No more. They will have no more from me. They are evil, greedy, ungrateful beasts and still you stand up for them.” He calmed himself down with a visible effort. Then, steadily, he said, “You are a fool, Tenryu, and my father will not hear you.”

For the first time since Tenryu had entered the room, he looked toward the corner where yet another young man stood silently in the shadows, and acknowledged his presence. This young man, barely out of boyhood, was just reaching his man-height, merely tens of thousands of years old. Tenryu spoke as if half to the prince and half to this silent figure: “There is a girl who would prove you wrong. She is the child every one of us holds dear in our hearts, even you, my prince.”

The prince followed Tenryu’s gaze and glared at the young man in the shadows, ignoring this last comment. “You think he can get you an audience with the king? Kohaku, my disgraced brother? They killed him. They stole his power, and you think he’ll side with you? You think he has the strength? Look at him, Tenryu. They have almost made my baby brother one of them, a pathetic human. You should pity him, and look to the ones with power. And they say you are wise.”

Kohaku acted as if he had not heard, but his eyes were bright as they met Tenryu’s. Behind the calm façade, he seethed.

\---

“What is your stance on the evacuation, honored Father?" Kohaku sat opposite the king in what he now thought of as his father’s study.

“No one has asked me to intervene,” the king replied impassively. “Thus, I have no stance.”

Kohaku said nothing, so the king continued, taking valuable time to explain the way of things to his youngest offspring.

“Kohaku, you know how dragons are. We’re proud and solitary. The king is only the judge, not the ruler. If all decide to evacuate, there is no need for the king to take a stance.”

“So you disagree.”

“It does not matter whether I agree or disagree. The king’s opinion counts for little if there is no one willing to plead his case. It counts for even less in the year of the coronation. It counts for nothing. Such is the burden of the arbiter. In that way, I have less say than the weakest of my subjects.” He looked intently at his son. “Kohaku, as long as I am king, you are one of my subjects as well as my son. Bring your evidence. Plead your case. I will hear you just as I hear any other dragon who wishes to be heard.”

 _Any other dragon who makes it to the council room_ , thought Kohaku, but keeping the thought to himself did not stop the king from hearing and replying to it.

"Prince Nigihayami Kohakunushi," he said sternly. "At this moment you are in no place to even think disrespectful thoughts about Fujisan." His tone softened. “So you are dissatisfied with the way things are. What are you going to do about it?”

"What could I possibly do about it, Father. And after this year, I will have even less power than I do now, if that were even possible,” Kohaku said bitterly. “You can’t mean for me to pursue the throne. What good is a crippled king to his people?”

The king looked at his son without pity. “King or now, you are not powerless as your brother seems to think.”

\---

Monday, March 3rd

Dear Diary,

We're reading Alice in Wonderland and Through the Looking Glass in English class for the last few weeks of school. (The last few weeks!! Then I’m off to University!) Yumi’s gang dragged me out to see the movie when it came out, which I actually enjoyed, surprisingly. (Why do they insist on seeing so many romcoms? And watching every TV drama that comes out? They're all the same. I wonder if any of them ever pick up a book outside of school.) The book looks nothing like the movie - except maybe for the illustration of the Jabberwocky.

We’ve been talking about the old religions in history, and we're discussing some of the more famous folktales for the rest of the year. I need to buy an edition of the Kojiki that I somehow manage not to own yet. Risuni was smirking at me all class. She knows it’s already hard enough to keep my mouth shut about whatever story I’m reading that day. Now it'll be absolutely impossible, since I'll have to listen to the girls complain about them day and night. Maybe they won’t care enough to bring it up. It’s not like grades matter anymore. There’s a final paper, but I don’t know why the teachers bother. No one’s mind is on school anymore.

Thursday, March 6th

Dear Diary,

The book has nothing to do with the movie. Lewis Carroll makes absolutely no sense. He thinks he can make up words any which way and his story goes everywhere, like a dream. It makes my head hurt.

Yumi was bragging about kissing one of the boys on the soccer team yesterday... I don't get it. They're all cocky and obnoxious and without a gram of real self-confidence. What's the attraction? Besides, it’s not like we’re going to be here much longer.

We went shopping for school things today. Sheets and laundry detergent and clothes hangers. It still hasn’t really hit me that I’m leaving.

Later. Nuclear meltdown at Onagawa on TV, thankfully far from here. Still, I wish we didn’t live so close to the Hamaoka reactor.

Friday, March 7th

Dear Diary,

None of the girls even mentioned Onagawa today. It’s like they hadn’t heard the news, even though I know they did. The story played straight through their favorite show, but they can’t bear to say that they care. It’s all the teachers will talk about, to each other, at least. They’re just as worried as I am. The only thing that distracts me is Alice.

I was wrong about Alice. I can't put it down. There's just something about falling out of reality and into Wonderland that strikes a chord...I'm already on Looking Glass.

This poem. The mad hatter recites it in the movie. I’ve already memorized it.

"'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves

did gyre and gimble in the wabe.

All mimsy were the borogoves,

and the mome raths outgrabe."

-Jabberwocky

I have no idea what any of it means but the words feel deliciously wicked in my mouth, not at all crisp and flowing like Japanese. It's all these "th"s and "s"s. We're only supposed to be halfway through the first book but I can't stop.

Wednesday, March 12th

Dear Diary,

While doing research for my history paper, I came across this old worn-out copy of the Kojiki in the library. I would have missed this had not for my weakness for old books. (It’s the vanillin! That’s why they smell so good!) It's not like I don't own a copy - I have four now, but this one had a story that's missing in mine. It began with the usual origin story but it kept going past the usual ending. It said that human greed caused the world to split in two, one for humans and one for the spirits. It’s such an interesting idea. I’d been thinking for years that society is losing its spirituality. I didn’t have time to copy it down. I’ll have to go back when I find time.

The weirdest thing about the story was that it wasn't written in the past tense, like most of the folktales I read, but more like it was going on right at this moment. More than that. There was no ending. Maybe Risuni or her parents will know more about it. I need to remember to ask them. Sometimes I wish I had Risuni’s parents.

I finished Through the Looking Glass. When she "woke up" at the end and was back in the real world, I cried. Why? It wasn’t a sad ending. Wonderland is far from ideal and it has the most frustrating laws of physics, like a nightmare, the way you run as fast as you can and still end up within the monster's grasp. It's a nightmarish place, that's what.

Friday, March 14th

Dear Diary,

There were earthquakes all around Mount Fuji last night. Mostly small ones, but still, so many. You could feel the ground trembling all day, like it feels just as nervous as we are. There’s also a plume of smoke coming from the mouth, and scientists say the small earthquakes could be predicting an eruption. I can only just see Mount Fuji in the distance but the town council held a mandatory meeting today to give everyone the procedure for an evacuation, on the chance that Fuji erupts. I hope not, kami preserve us.


	2. The Kept Promise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I wonder why Haku hasn't been able to come find Chihiro before?

A wind outside the door made Zeniiba look up from her knitting. Haku. It had been years. There was very little time left, but she hadn’t expected him to show up on his own. She expected him to need persuasion. Did he understand how quickly things were coming together? 

No-Face opened the door, revealing a young man. So young, Zeniiba thought, but he had grown so much. He had grown, not because of the years that had passed, but because he had matured. His hair was no longer cropped close to his chin; it had grown out about his shoulders as befitted a young prince. His face, still pale, had lost some of its roundness. His olive-green eyes spoke of experience and pain and love, though he didn’t know it. So he was a man, and not a child, but still young nonetheless. His court clothes suited him, but Zeniiba could see that he wasn’t yet fully comfortable in them.

“Haku,” she said in greeting, as if he’d dropped by for tea, “come in, come in. It’s been a long time.”

“It’s good to see you, Granny,” Haku said, calling Zeniiba by the name Chihiro had adopted long ago. “Sorry I haven’t been around. There’s been a lot happening at home.”

“I know, dear.” Zeniiba put away her knitting as No-Face poured tea for the three of them. “Don’t worry. Chihiro seems to be healthy and happy, as always.” She saw the relief on his face.

“Granny, I don’t want Chihiro caught up in this war.”

“It is hard to put the ones we love in danger. But we may need her. When the time comes, you will have the power to turn her path away if you choose. You will have to do what you think is right.”

 “May I see her?”

“Of course.”

\---

"There she is."

A moving picture hung in the air in front of the fireplace in Zeniiba's cottage. It was a window into another world. On the other side of the window, a group of girls stood huddled in some grass, talking and giggling. The girls were wearing identical t-shirts and pleated skirts – no doubt a uniform. The most striking difference between them lay in the color of their hair, which ranged from yellow to copper to black. Haku bore into them with his gaze, willing them to look up so that maybe he could recognize something. Anything would do.

One girl’s face grew and filled the magical picture, laughing, with a sharp chin-length bob. One rose-gold lock peeked out from beneath her bangs by one ear. As she turned, Haku recognized the shape and color of her eyes. Her face, slightly longer than he remembered, was familiar. But why did it seem that someone had replaced her face with a flesh-colored canvas, and then had painted the features back on? Her face was shockingly pale, her eyelids and eyelashes a deep blue whenever she blinked, and her lips flamboyantly red – a mockery of a real face.

The group of girls left the school gate and merged with a raucous bunch of boys walking past. Immediately the attitudes of the girls changed. Some became flirtatious and bold, others, shy. A few couples moved to the periphery of the group and began to kiss ostentatiously, garnering envious looks from the others. One of the boys directed his attention toward Chihiro, walking backwards and puffing out his chest like a cockerel, gesturing animatedly. She bantered back, to the amusement of the group, all the while smacking on a piece of gum. Eventually, Chihiro waved and deviated from the group to enter a house. Haku and Zeniiba, hidden behind the magical window, followed.

Chihiro went straight upstairs and locked herself in her room, barely acknowledging her parents' greetings. She briefly surveyed her room. Bookshelves of folklore and history mixed with novels covered two walls. The other two walls were plastered with posters of boy bands and actors. A large traditional Japanese bed heaped with furry plush animals took up most of the floor. She sat down at her desk, swept aside a tangled pile of jewelry, and pulled out a diary from a drawer.

Her hand covered the entry as she wrote, but Haku could read the entry on the opposite page. It was dated from the previous week. Alice in Wonderland. Haku remembered. It had been very popular among the spirits in the 1860s. One sentence jumped out at him.

“When she "woke up" at the end and was back in the real world, I cried.”

\---

That night, Haku lay in bed, staring at the ceiling and thinking. It was a human bed, unbefitting any dragon but him, in a room given to him by Zeniiba when he left the bath house seven years ago and had nowhere to go. To his human vision, the ceiling disappeared into the darkness, except where shreds of moonlight came in and illuminated it. He could almost pretend he was looking down into the deep.

He was discouraged. He was nervous. He knew that Chihiro had stopped wearing her hair long years ago, but he had not thought that she would change this much. There was nothing of the determined, gentle little girl he knew in the way this young woman had smirked and rolled her eyes as she talked, or in the way she acted as if everything in the world revolved around herself.

There were hints – small details here and there that left Haku with hope. The traditional bed. The folktales. The lack of piercings, though many of her friends had more than one. Haku saw that when she flirted her interest was fake; her smile masked her inner disgust. And there was that one line from her diary.

“When she "woke up" at the end and was back in the real world, I cried.”

Part of her must love the idea of Wonderland, must miss it, no matter how nightmarish she thought it was, and so she must believe it, somewhere in her heart. Maybe she wasn't gone. Maybe she was just very, deeply, expertly hidden.

\---

The next day there was intrigue in the air: a new student at the boys' school. Yumi had seen him before school that morning, and described him in elaborate detail to anyone who would listen. He was tall, six feet at least, and just the least bit gangly. He had long black hair tied back in a ponytail, which was the latest trend, not in Tokyo, she explained, but in Paris. Not just any black. Ebony. His uniform - jacket, shirt, pants, and tie - were designer quality. Tailored silk and denim. He had green eyes, so surely he was half European, which would explain the taste in high class fashion _and_ the good looks - high cheekbones and a chiseled jawline and very pale skin. All in all, he was just about the hottest guy she had ever seen.

And you could tell by the blush rising that she meant it.

The news spread like wildfire.

After school, nobody left. They stood in the schoolyard, buzzing, waiting for the procession of boys to come down the street as usual, as if waiting for a prophet. They were not disappointed. There, walking with the popular boys, who never deign to notice anyone but each other, was the new kid. He looked exactly as Yumi had described, only more attractive, if that was possible. He looked at once sensitive and charismatic and confident. He walked with a kind of easy grace that set him apart from the others. Chihiro heard a few quiet sighs from the girls around her, and was amazed that one had come from herself. Risuni snickered softly beside her, one of the few unaffected. Chihiro had never really “liked” a boy before. She was never going to hear the end of it.

 The boys’ soccer captain, Kane, who had bantered with Chihiro the day before, saw the whole school of girls staring, and grinned.

By the time the boys reached the gate, there was not one girl left inside the schoolyard. The swarm of uniformed teenagers swamped the street, as each girl tried to get a closer look at the subject of the day's gossip. Kane snagged Chihiro’s arm and pulled her out of the throng.

"He's a senior in my class," he said casually. "He's the son of a visiting ambassador."

Chihiro looked at the crowd and sighed mentally. She was never going to get through now, and she’d been doing so well. But she had to satisfy her curiosity, even if it meant encouraging this most recent suitor. "What’s his name?" she asked, all wide-eyed innocence.

He leered at her. "I'll tell you if you give me a kiss."

Risuni heard and snorted in disdain. Just as Chihiro was about to respond, though, she felt a hand gently touch her shoulder. Through the noise of the crowd, she heard an unfamiliar voice say quietly from behind her: "My name is Kohaku. I'm pleased to make your acquaintance."

More curious than angry now, she turned around. He was so close that she had to look up at him. He was at least half a head taller than her. Behind her, Kane glowered.

"Don’t interrupt, foreigner," he growled. "Don’t they teach kids manners where you come from?”

"My name is Chihiro, it’s nice to meet you," she told Kohaku. Aware that both schools were watching this little drama, she bowed in sarcastic apology and completely ignored the fuming boy behind her. "I hope this jerk hasn’t given you too poor an impression of our little town."

Kane spun Chihiro around roughly. "What do you think you're doing?"

She pushed him away, eyes aflame. "If you can't get a girl without bribing her, why do you even bother?" she retorted acerbically. "I talk to whom I please; I am not your territory and you have no claim over me." _I just said ‘whom,’_ she thought. _Crap. That was out of character._

In the silence that was more about the fact that she had outright rejected the most yearned after guy in town than the “whom,” she walked out of the crowd, not even looking back at Risuni, who was doubled over in silent laughter. It wasn’t until she had turned the corner that Kane found his voice again.

“I didn’t think…”

“Then you oughtn’t talk,” Risuni said tartly.

Kane looked at her in shock, as if seeing an apparition.

“Curtsy while you think, it saves time,” Risuni quoted again. She caught Kohaku’s eye, gave him a thumbs-up, and left.

Chihiro had barely closed the door of her house when she got a text from Yumi. It was a sign. Her phone rang incessantly with texts, messages, and calls. Girls and guys alike wanted to discuss Kohaku, the number of balls she possessed, ( _more than two?_ Chihiro thought,) and Kane’s resulting humiliation. Chihiro had been popular for years, but usually the status didn’t entail this number of interruptions.

After dinner, Chihiro headed to the library to get some much needed peace. In light of what had happened after school, she hadn't been able to focus all afternoon. She thought that rereading that story in the Kojiki would calm her down, and she would not, she promised herself, bring her phone.

The folklore section was usually empty; the books, unpopular. She went straight to the shelf where anthologies were kept, and lo and behold, there stood Kohaku, reading the very book she had gone there to find. She wondered how he could go anywhere without trailing a gaggle of giggling girls, and thought briefly of leaving before he looked up from the book, looking slightly amused.

“Chihiro.” He bowed to her. “I didn’t expect to see anyone here.”

“I’m just here to do research for the folklore paper. Are you using that?” she replied, pointing to the Kojiki.

“This is a very unusual anthology,” he said, closing the book and handing it to her.

“Oh?” Chihiro said, looking down to try to hide her interest, and not quite succeeding. _Could he mean this story?_ She flipped to the unusual origin story. She looked up to see Kohaku still looking at her, and her heart caught a little. He smiled a little, like they shared a secret, bowed, and excused himself.


	3. Tremor

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where have Chihiro's memories gone?

“Chihiro, you _like_ him, don’t you,” Risuni teased. “Oh you do, you do!” she said as Chihiro blushed and looked away, making Risuni shriek in laughter. “He _is_ cute alright.” Chihiro grinned.

“What about you,” Chihiro asked, “what do you think of him?”

It was late, and Chihiro and Risuni sat at a low table in Risuni’s small study, drinking tea and procrastinating on their homework. Chihiro couldn’t look more different sitting there with her legs folded, wearing no makeup at all and a simple kimono. Chihiro loved nothing more than coming here in the evenings and shedding everything that made her popular. Risuni kept a bottle of make-up remover in her bathroom just for this purpose – she never bothered with make-up -  along with some of Chihiro’s clothes.

The Shinkono house was very traditionally and sparsely furnished. There were tatami mats on the floor with cushions instead of chairs, sliding shoji partitions, and a small shrine on the wall with a bowl of fruit as an offering to a figurine of a white dragon and an old man. The family reserved the front living room for more contemporary visitors, and it was the only room with any chairs or sofas. The family, however, preferred their Spartan surroundings. So did Chihiro. This was their sanctuary.

“He’s interesting, I suppose. Okay, so he’s good looking,” Risuni said, laughing as Chihiro made a face. “But he reminds me of a boy back home who was just about my older brother,” _and not exactly human, at that,_ “so he’s all yours.”

“You think I’ll fight those back-stabbing piranhas for him?” Chihiro said. “ _They_ can duke it out.”

“Poor guy,” Risuni said dramatically, “the damsel is leaving him to drown.” They burst out laughing. “This is going to be fun.”

“You’re terrible,” Chihiro complained, but her eyes sparkled. “Such a sadist.”

“It’s not my fault I don’t care to be in the middle of all this drama. You gotta admit it’s entertaining.”

Chihiro was about to agree when the ground trembled. She bit back her words, slightly frightened, and looked at Risuni. They were seated on the ground, and had nowhere to fall. The tea rippled. There was nothing in the room that could fall on them. Then there was a clatter of china and the thumps of oranges falling as the ground shook again, harder. Risuni scrambled up to catch the bowl that held the fruit before it could hit the ground and shatter. A second later, Chihiro caught the figurine as it, too, tumbled off the shelf. They lay like this, each clutching the object she had saved, for a long moment, but the earth had stilled.

Chihiro had never looked at this statue very closely before. She turned it over curiously and nearly dropped it as a sudden ache pounded her skull. She closed her eyes and it diffused. A change in pressure from the earthquake perhaps, she thought. She looked at the statue again. One glimpse of dark, heavily wrinkled skin and wispy, white eyebrows brought the ache back, along with a loud buzzing in her ears that repelled the image in her mind’s eye.

“Risuni,” Chihiro called, keeping her eyes firmly closed. “Who is this a statue of?”

“That’s Tenryu Kawa no Kami, a river spirit.”

“Why does that sound familiar?”

“We learned about the river in school. The Tenryu-kawa is near the Toi gold mine. History class.”

Gold. She had a nagging feeling that… But the pain reappeared and she dropped the thought. Just then Risuni’s parents appeared to make sure that they were alright. Chihiro took advantage of the distraction to replace the statue on the shelf.

It had been the worst tremor of the week.

\---

Chihiro slept fitfully. The white dragon figurine was alive. It flew through the air in joy, and she, Chihiro, was riding it. Him. The dragon was a him. They flew through the bright sunlight and she talked to him, but she couldn’t hear the words she said. She could only feel the pleasure and freedom of flight. He wasn’t the dragon on Risuni’s shrine, but she knew him. She knew him!

The dream shifted. The sky grew dark. She was standing on the ground and the dragon was above her, flying fast. It rammed itself against an invisible wall in the sky, over and over, until it shook with pain and exhaustion. Stop! Chihiro cried to the dragon, You’re hurt! Stop! But she made no sound, and watched helplessly as the dragon thrashed, its mane matted with blood and scales shedding, and then fell through the air. The dream drew her away; the white dragon shrank into a white dot, still falling, too far away for her to help. She thought she felt a broken thud as he hit the ground.

Chihiro woke with tears in her eyes and sharp ache in her chest. “Stop,” she whispered. But she didn’t know who she was talking to or what she was trying to stop. A bad dream. It was only a bad dream. She slept.

When she awoke again it was six-thirty. Saturday. No school. She was out of bed in an instant. A reprieve for two whole days. She grabbed the bento she’d packed the night before and her backpack, and slipped out into the chilly morning. She walked toward the woods by the highway, where a familiar narrow track led her through the trees. The fog still hung, like a heavy curtain, over the branches. Little houses, built for squirrels, perhaps, lined the track. Now and then, statues appeared out of the fog. The track ended in a small paved clearing. Chihiro had walked this trail so many times since she’d discovered it, she’d long since stopped wondering why the clearing was here. This was her spot. The sun shone through the leaves and a cool breeze blew. She sat leaning against the statue and pulled out her breakfast and library books.

\---

“Do you have it?”

Haku produced a strand of hair, and handed it to Zeniiba.

The window opened in the air. Chihiro sat in front of the Spirit World Gate, leaning on the guardian and reading a book. Haku blinked.

“She can’t see the gate,” Zeniiba reminded Haku, seeing his surprise. “Haku, before you go, listen carefully. The spell on the North Gate banishes a human’s memories of his time in the Spirit World, and inflicts pain to make sure the human never consciously tries to remember. The side effect, which I’m sure he intended, is that hatred of spirits and the Spirit World spreads on the other side as a result.

“Chihiro’s charm sealed her memories into the realm of dreams when she passed through, away from her consciousness, and so kept them safe. Without the charm, I believe the curse would prevent her from ever remembering any of these dreams. You must find a way to bring her memories back. But be careful. Even with the charm, her memories can be dangerous.”


	4. Protection

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Are we still friends? Do you remember me?

The white dragon swam through a dark, narrow cave. The weight of the water and rock above him was crushing, but it was still water, and it could not hurt him. The water fought him, pulling him backwards by his tail and mane. Still, he made headway and approached a small opening in the tunnel. The current was the strongest here. The dragon waited a moment, shoring up his energy, and then shot forward through the hole into a shining lake. Everything was subtly different. He tasted the faint tang of metal and smoke in the air. The water had slightly too much nitrogen and was cloudy with algae. Chihiro watched as the dragon rose out of the water and turned into

\---

“Haku.”

Chihiro opened her eyes to find Kohaku staring at her inquisitively. She flushed, very conscious of the fact that she was not wearing makeup or nice clothes, and that she was sitting alone in the middle of the woods. It occurred to her that she was now alone with _him_ in the middle of the woods – and her face grew even warmer at the thought.

“Oh, hello.” Chihiro said a little sheepishly. “I must’ve dozed off. Good morning.” _How long has he been standing there?_

“You were talking in your sleep.” _How much do you remember? Do you remember me?_

“That’s embarrassing…What did I say?” _Was he just standing there listening?_

“You called me Haku. How did you know that my friends call me Haku?” _You used to call me Haku._

Chihiro looked up at him, but he was staring far into the distance. “Sorry, I didn’t know. I didn’t mean to be rude.” If it had been anyone else, the situation would’ve been creepy. She’d only talked to him twice, but it felt like she could trust him.

“That’s okay. You can call me Haku if you want to,” he said. _Please do. Calling me Kohaku sounds like everything that happened never happened._

“What are you doing out here?” _Does that make me your friend?_

“Funny,” he said, with a strange look on his face. “I could ask you the same thing. I’m looking for someone.”

“Really? I’ve been coming here for years, and I never see anyone out here,” Chihiro said thoughtfully.

“She’s not from around here, but this is where I saw her last. I thought I might find her here,” Haku replied, then changed the topic. “You haven’t told me why you’re out here all by yourself.”

Chihiro gestured to her research materials. “It’s quiet out here. I like it. And there’s never anyone else around.” _Was she just a friend? Or something more?_

“Sorry to disturb your peace. I can leave now, if you’d like.”

Chihiro looked up at the sun and decided it was a good excuse to go home. “Nah, I’ll head back with you, if that’s okay. Are you just going back to town?” She gathered her things and the two of them started down the track. "When was the last time you were here?" she asked as they walked.

"Probably about seven years ago. Why do you ask?"

"Because this is such a small town that if I was living here at the time, I'm sure I would've seen you around."

"Do I look familiar?" _Please let me look familiar. Please remember me._

Chihiro looked into his face, examining it. He did seem strangely familiar, as if he was a song she had heard once long ago. And yet, there was something intrinsically different about him. She noticed that his eyes were mossy green, a color she had never seen before in eyes, like smooth sun-warmed pebbles…Chihiro blushed at the thought, and looked away, making Haku fight to hide a small smile. Staring at her shoes, Chihiro didn't notice. "Now that I think about it, maybe you do, a little bit. Your name seems familiar, too."

"I guess that makes it a little less strange that you were calling out my name in your sleep."

_Is he teasing me?_ Chihiro thought, but Haku seemed completely serious. “Oh!” Chihiro stopped suddenly. "I was dreaming about you! Sorry, that's kind of creepy. But…I think…you were in my dream…” she stuttered. “I don’t remember what it was about… Sorry, I’m sorry, that sounds so weird,” she mumbled, flushing.

“That’s okay,” he said reassuringly. “Stranger things happen.” _Like a dragon being saved by a human girl._

“Do I look familiar to you?” Chihiro asked.

"Definitely not when we first met, but right now you do."

"It's the makeup, isn't it?" Chihiro half-grinned. She was bantering now, and enjoying it for once. "I don't actually look that different from when I was ten. Taller, maybe."

She did still have a boyish body, but Haku refused to answer her self-depreciation. "Definitely the makeup," Haku said seriously. "Why do you wear it? You don’t need it. You're much prettier without it."

Chihiro blushed furiously and looked down at her feet, suddenly shy. This guy, who was every definition of gorgeous, had just called her pretty. "It's kind of like a shield, I guess. Protection. What people say doesn't hurt because they're not talking about the real me. It makes me feel stronger."

"I see. It's not just your face, is it? It's your clothes, too. You're much nicer when no one else is around. And your hair looks different." He reached out and touched a strand of it. From anyone else, it would have been rude, but coming from him... Chihiro felt her face flush. It was such an intimate gesture.

How could he see through her so easily? It's as if he knew her, as well as Risuni did.  "What about you?" she said a little defensively. "Your designer clothes, and your hair?" Then she realized that like herself, he was in worn jeans and a t-shirt. Unlike hers, though, his looked just as well tailored as his uniform.

"You're not the only one who needs protection," he replied.

\---

_You're much prettier without._ The words repeated themselves in her head. _You're much nicer when no one else is around. You can call me Haku if you want to._ She wanted to see him again. _My friends call me Haku. Do I look familiar?_ He was so easy to talk to. He had forgiven her when she blabbed insensibly. Where had she seen him before? Had they met? _Your clothes are part of your mask, too, right? I was last here seven years ago._

Seven years ago. Back then, her hair would've been in a ponytail. That was the biggest change. It'd been short ever since that one trip to the salon... She’d cried after it got chopped off but everyone told her she looked so pretty with it short that she’d kept it. Before that...

Where was that hair tie? She opened a secret compartment in her jewelry box. This hair tie. She had worn this hair tie every day. She had kept it safe and well-hidden and protected it ever since she stopped wearing it. _You’re not the only one who needs protection_. Chihiro had kept the feeling that it was very important, but no longer knew why. Why had she protected this hair tie so carefully? Come to think of it, she couldn’t even remember where she’d gotten it. Back when she wore it, she had never needed anything else. Her friends and parents always bought her hair things, but they sat in a small drawer, still in their packaging, untouched. Three short encounters, and he had her thinking about things she hadn’t thought about in years. Chihiro put a hand to her hair. Maybe it was time to grow it out again.

Her mother’s voice rang from the hallway, making her drop the hair tie in surprise.

\---

_The train rumbled under Chihiro as the light outside the window dimmed. Meadows and trees rushed past. Her friends slept on her lap but she sat stiffly, showing no sign of tiredness. Adrenaline and determination filled her – she couldn’t afford to miss her stop. The sixth stop. For Haku._

_Chihiro felt something old and rusty in the water streaming down her face. It was so familiar. She pulled at it. A bicycle?_

_Haku! He’s going to take me to my parents. He pulled her along by the hand and they ran through fruit trees and down the hill to a pigpen. You must never come here without me, understand?_

_And Haku held her while she cried because she was lost and she didn’t know what to do. He was and telling her she should eat, it would make her feel better. It’ll be alright. She would be alright._

_She was standing at a window and there was Haku again, this time older, standing with his back to her under the tree on her school grounds. He turned to face her. Even though he was too far away to hear, she could tell what he was saying to her. “Don’t you remember?” he said._

Chihiro woke up. She grasped at her dreams, but they were already on their way to where all dreams go. There was a train, and a pigpen...and a blur. A voice echoed softly in her head from the last scene. _Don’t you remember?_ There was sadness in that voice.

Five nights of dreams she couldn’t remember. Five nights of visions so vivid and filled with hope that she woke up clutching at scraps of color and feeling like her heart would burst, but the pieces slipped away like water in her hands. She buried her face in her pillow in frustration. Her fingers brushed something lying under the pillow.

The hair tie.


	5. Fujisan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kohaku's presence seems to be taking over Chihiro's life.

Far away, two humble wooden shrines stood nestled in the mountains. These shrines were well loved by poor but grateful people. The larger of the two had a sliding door worn smooth from use that opened to a large figure of an old man and a dragon. The figure was carved of marble but for the irises, which were spheres of clouded green jade. A raised pot of incense released fragrant smoke before the figure. The other shrine had only three walls and held a large forest bonsai, and that was all. The shrines were open to anyone who cared to stop by. There once was a proper stone courtyard and promenade, but all that was left was cracked rock and gravel interspersed with weeds. The red tiled roofs had long since been faded by rain and sun to a warm brown. An old man moved slowly about the courtyard. He would need a cane soon, but he preferred to have to use of both hands when serving the kami. He was the priest of the village, the keeper of the shrine, and Risuni’s grandfather.

As on any other morning, he greeted the stone figure of the kami with a “Good morning” as he entered the larger shrine. A young woman, one of his many granddaughters, came in behind him, sweeping away the dust that had accumulated in the night. She wore the red and white miko robe – an indication that she was a servant of the kami.

On this particular morning, however, the statue spoke back.

“Good morning, child.”

The girl yelped – the stone figure that resided here had always been just stone to her – but the old man smiled. This was not the first time that the kami had spoken with him.

“Kami, I’m afraid you’ve once again forgotten that the years pass faster for us humans. I’m not the child I was when we last met. In fact,” he chuckled. “I am quite the old man.”

The statue seemed to blink. “Ah yes, old friend. You are correct. No matter. You look well.”

“With your blessing, Kami. What brings you here today?”

“I am seeking the human girl Chihiro.”

“That’s a common name nowadays.”

“She is about Risuni’s age, by now.” The statue smiled indulgently. “Dear child.” More seriously, the statue continued. “She wandered into the Spirit World seven of your years past. I believe that we need her to turn the war on its head. You see, by being neither greedy nor cruel, the child captured many hearts, including my own, that of the lost Prince Nigihayami Kohakunushi, and that of the witch twins of your blood.”

It was too much for the old man to wrap his head around at once. “The prince?” the shrine-keeper said. “He’s found?”

“Yes. When the Kohaku River was destroyed he was disoriented. He took on a younger shape and found work at Yubaba’s bathhouse, where he lost his memories and was hidden in plain sight. No one thought to look for him there. When Chihiro fell through the barrier and landed there, she somehow restored his memories and name, forming a permanent bond between them. As she passed through the gate and returned to the human world, she lost her memories of her time here. The prince returned to take his place at court. However, his resurrection is not complete, and Fujisan and Tateyama will not accept the idea of Kohaku ascending the throne. It being the year of the coronation, the king has no power, and in any case refuses to express any hint of an opinion beyond spending more time with Kohaku than is usual. I believe that he has gone to the human world to find the girl.  

“Unfortunately, he is aware that if she ever returns, she will be in grave danger. I understand that he is somewhat reluctant for her to be involved in the war. There is no doubt that Akuma will attempt to capture or kill her to keep her out of our hands. However, she is in just as much danger in the human world. Akuma is gaining power readily there as well. It would not take much to exert that power.

“I need you to find Prince Kohaku and warn him. I am certain that if Akuma hears about the girl, he will be looking for her. The prince’s presence will only make it more obvious who she is. If you find her, be careful – any reference to her memories will be toxic without the charm.”

\---

That night had been a blur of dreams. Pain, hunger, loneliness, and an overwhelming sense of heaviness permeated her sleep. She wandered ceaselessly, going somewhere and nowhere. Her hair was matted and it felt as if her skin had scabbed over in places. She never saw herself - her vision was dulled and weak. All was crushed by despair but a small, insistent spot of longing warmth that said: “I promised her I’d see her again.”

In the morning, the feeling of being unclean lingered. Chihiro slipped the purple hair tie around her wrist and went to Risuni’s. When she got there, Risuni’s mom, Suzume, was on the phone. That was unusual; they generally disliked substituting technology for face to face conversation. Then she heard her name.

“Chihiro?” Suzume was saying. “Risuni has a friend named Chihiro. She spends a lot of time here. In fact, she just walked in.” Suzume waved a greeting. She listened intently to the phone for a moment. “She’s about Risuni’s age. They’re both headed off to college soon” Pause. “What? Kohaku is _here_?”

At that sentence, Chihiro turned to stare at Mrs. Shinkono and Risuni poked her head out from behind a partition. “Haku?” Chihiro asked as Risuni said “Nigihayami Kohakunushi?” They gaped at each other.

Mrs. Shinkono looked to Risuni, who was staring at Chihiro. “Who’s Haku?” she asked.

“He’s a new kid at the boys’ school,” Chihiro said. Suzume looked at her strangely.

“What does he look like?”

“Kohaku? Pale, with long black hair,” Risuni said thoughtfully. “Tall…”

“And really, really attractive,” Chihiro added. “He attracts girls like rotting meat attracts flies.”

“That’s disgusting,” Risuni remarked as Chihiro grinned. She turned to her mother. “Is something wrong?” but Mrs. Shinkono was listening into the phone again.

“What did you say, Father? What about Chihiro-?“

“That’s enough.” The phone line went dead. Haku stood in the doorway. “Everyone needs to get outside,” he said. “Now. There’s going to be an earthquake.”

No one questioned how he knew or when he had gotten there. They shuffled out of the house under Haku’s impatient gaze. As soon as the last person had passed through the threshold, a shockwave threw them all to the ground. A window shattered. The house creaked violently. They heard crashing sounds from behind them. The asphalt on the street cracked as they watched. Chihiro scrambled to her feet.

“Chihiro, wait!” someone called from behind her. Another wave pulled the ground from beneath her and she stumbled, scraping her knee, but then she was up again.

“I’ve got to make sure my parents are okay!” she called back.

“Damn it, Fujisan,” Haku muttered as the ground continued to shake violently. “Damn you,” he said, louder, then ran after Chihiro.

The ground rumbled again just as they reached the Ogino residence. Glass rained down from the second floor. Haku reached out and grabbed Chihiro’s arm and caught her as she went down.

“Thank you,” she gasped, fighting for breath. “Mom! Dad! Are you okay?” she yelled, as she fumbled with her cellphone. “Mom!” No one answered the phone. “Dad!” She opened the front door. “Are you guys in here?”

“Chihiro!” Mr. Ogino was running down the block toward them. There was dirt smeared on his palms and his clothes. “Thank goodness.”

“Dad! Where’s Mom?”

“She should be here…”

Mr. Ogino led the way into the house. They picked their way through broken glass and fallen furniture strewn haphazardly on the floor.

“Chihiro,” Haku said tensely, but she was paying attention to a sound coming from upstairs. Chihiro and her father ran toward the sound. Yuuki lay on the floor, pinned by a fallen bookshelf.

“Haku!” Chihiro called. “Come help!” Together they lifted the bookshelf off of Yuuki Ogino.

“Chihiro,” Haku said again, but she wasn’t listening. “Damn it,” he muttered under his breath.

“Mom. Mom! Wake up!” Yuuki stirred. “Thank the kami,” Chihiro sighed.

“Chihiro!” Haku said, as a siren began to sound.

“What?”

“We have to get out. Mount Fuji is erupting.”

The ground trembled slightly still, but it seemed that the worst was over for now. Yuuki’s leg was broken when the bookshelf fell on her, but it was a clean break, and nothing else had been hurt. Akio carried her carefully down the stairs and outside to where the Risuni and her parents were waiting.

\---

Risuni dialed the emergency number while Chihiro and her father crowded around Yuuki to try to make her more comfortable, and a helicopter came to take Yuuki to Tokyo hospital, outside the radius of evacuation. The pilot would only let one person accompany Yuuki, so in the end, Akio left with the helicopter, leaving Chihiro behind to evacuate with the Shinkonos.

Plans for evacuation had been made the week before, so everyone was reasonably calm. The three young people waited outside as Mr. and Mrs. Shinkono spent some time gathering their papers and few necessities. But instead of getting into the car, Haku led the way down the track into the forest below the highway where he had found Chihiro asleep just the other day. Chihiro didn’t think much of it. She was still in shock. Without her realizing it, Haku put his hand on her wrist where the purple hair tie lay against her skin. It would do.

“Chihiro,” Haku said softly, pulling her out of her haze. “I need you to close your eyes for now. I ask you to trust me. I’ll explain everything as we go, alright?”

Chihiro looked to Risuni mutely, who took her hand and squeezed it with a reassuring smile. “Who are you, really?” she whispered.

“I am Prince Nigihayami Kohakunushi,” he said, “and your friend, so please, call me Haku.”

Chihiro was too weary to protest at the strangeness of it all, nodded, and closed her eyes. Risuni and Haku each took hold of one of her arms, and lead her through the Gate.


	6. Impossible Things

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe it's a good thing she's in shock. Would she accept all the crazy things that are about to happen as real otherwise?

_Alice laughed. "There's no use trying," she said: "one can't believe impossible things."_

_"I daresay you haven't had much practice," said the Queen. "When I was your age, I always did it for half-an-hour a day. Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."_

Behind the darkness of Chihiro’s eyelids, Haku’s voice cut through the sound of the White Queen’s words in her mind. Chihiro suddenly felt as if she was looking over the sea. The others disappeared from her senses, until all she was aware of was the sound of his voice and the warmth of his hand. His voice took on the intonation of a chant. Even with everything that had happened that day, Chihiro was calmed by the ritual of the telling. And then the first story in the Kojiki came alive.

“In the beginning,” he said, “after the first six divine generations retreated from the surface of the earth into the high plain of heaven, the seventh divine generation created Kuniumi, the islands of Japan. At that time, the worlds were one, and the humans and spirits lived in harmony. Mountains rose and rivers were born. The humans worshiped the spirits of the wind, the water, and the earth as kami, or gods, and were looked upon with favor. These kami were the guardians and protectors of the people, and were well loved.

“The greatest of these kami was Amaterasu, goddess of the Sun, who gave birth to the Emperors of Japan. This is why Kuniumi has always been called the Land of the Rising Sun. Amaterasu loved the humans. She loved their capacity to love. Her children ruled over Japan wisely for many generations, with her blessing. The people prospered. They had enough to set aside for times of famine, and life was long.

“After Amaterasu banished her brother Tsukuyomi, the moon god, Tsukuyomi had a son - Akuma. From the moment he was born, Akuma was afraid of the dark. He resented Amaterasu for taking away the light. He decided to give the darkness that she forced on him to her beloved humans - darkness in the form of selfishness. The people became discontent. Their wants grew far greater than their needs. Desire for riches overcame the love for their homelands, so people moved away from their beloved kami, and crowded together in the concrete jungles. As they moved away, they forgot the past. As they traveled through the generations they left the stories behind in the hearts of their ancestors. They laughed at the idea of petitioning the kami, for we could not give them what their greed desired. They left their lands desolate for their presence and their gods forlorn. The kami are the rivers, the mountains, the winds, the rice paddies, and without the humans' love, they had no life, for love and life are one and the same. With inattention and scorn, the humans banished the spirits. The worlds splintered as a heart separated from its beloved, the spirits on one side, the humans on the other, connected by a few fragments, pathways.

“The humans were not satisfied by their wealth. They began to hunt and kill the gods in order to take their lands and treasures for themselves, forgetting that once we let humans live on our land with our blessing. The worlds mourn as they are sundered further and further. The hunted kami flee, one by one, to the Spirit World. Some died from the shock of betrayal and the loss of their self.

"Thus begins the history of the Rift War, or Amaterasu's Sorrow. It is here in the telling that the Kojiki ends. Since the writing, a barrier has been raised to separate the worlds and to keep them separate. Many spirits believe that the wall serves to protect them from the darkness in the humans’ hearts. Others believe that the worlds need each other and work to remove the barrier between us, both physically and in our hearts. The story is not yet complete, and will continue to live on after we are all gone. Today, another chapter in the story was written. Today, Mount Fuji cried in despair as its spirit, Prince Fujisan, abandoned it.”

After a long while, Chihiro spoke. “Haku, you’re a spirit, aren’t you? That’s why you were able to tell that Fujisan was about to erupt.”

“Yes,” he said, “I am a spirit. But that’s not how I knew. I knew because Fujisan is my brother.”

“Are all kami dragons?” Chihiro asked.

Haku was silent for so long, Chihiro nearly opened her eyes. “Whatever gave you that idea?”

“The statue that stands in Risuni’s house is a dragon. Risuni said he was a river spirit. A kami, right?”

“Chihiro…tell me, did your head hurt when you looked at this statue?”

Chihiro didn’t answer. She remembered that day. Ringing in her ears like alarm bells at an intruder.

“Chihiro?” she heard Risuni’s voice say worriedly.

“Is there something wrong with me?” Chihiro asked softly. “My head did hurt, like it would rather do anything than think about that statue.”

“It doesn’t hurt now, does it?” Haku asked.

“No,” Chihiro said slowly. “But I’ve forgotten what the statue looks like, and I don’t remember its name.”

            “There’s nothing wrong with you, Chihiro,” Haku said. “There’s a spell on you. A spell of forgetting. I wish I could tell you your story, because you need to know it. You deserve to know it. But even if I told you, it wouldn’t mean anything to you, because it wouldn’t be you remembering. It would just be another story that happened to someone else.” He paused for a moment, thinking.

“Here’s what I _can_ tell you,” he said. “Seven years ago, you and your parents stumbled through a gate in the barrier into the Spirit World. You were trapped there for only a few weeks, but during that time you made many friends. One of them gave you the purple hairband that you’re wearing around your wrist. She was very wise, and foresaw the need, so put a protective charm on that hairband.

“When you left, you passed through one of the World Gates. The spell on the Gate should have removed your memories of your time in the Spirit World the way it did with your parents, but for the protective charm. To protect your memories, the charm turned them into dreams. Your head hurt because seeing the statue was triggering your memories, and the Gate wants you to forget them.”

“There’s a step,” Haku said, suddenly changing the subject. All at once, Chihiro felt the sun on her face and darkness behind her. Out of that darkness, wind blew. Before her, there was the sound of grass rustling and a fleeting memory of despair. “You can open your eyes now,” Haku said.

“Have I been here before?” Chihiro asked.

Haku was taken aback. “Does it look familiar?” he said, worried. “Does your head hurt?”

She opened her eyes. She could see the beginnings of a vast, green plain, but not much else. A mist hung around them like a curtain, obscuring the view in every direction. Risuni’s parents stood a little off to the side, staring into the mist.

“No…” Chihiro said, hesitant. “No, it doesn’t.”

Haku shook his head. “The view here should be different enough that it shouldn’t trigger any of your memories. If it did, the spell on the Gate would activate.”

“I have been here before, then.”

“Yes,” he said. “This is where the Gate led you, seven years ago. That’s why we needed you to close your eyes. Passing through the Gate itself would have triggered your memories.” Risuni put her arm around Chihiro sympathetically.

“Look,” Risuni said. A shape was moving within the mist. “It’s Shika,” she said. The shadow grew larger much more quickly than Chihiro thought possible.

_Shika…a deer?_ She thought. The deer emerged from the mist just meters from where they stood. Before Chihiro could blink, Risuni had run up to it and was hugging its neck. Shika, if that was its name, licked her face in affection. Risuni’s parents bowed formally in greeting, but Shika walked up to Suzume until they were eye to eye, and placed its head on her shoulder. Suzume laughed and hugged it just as Risuni had, and even kissed it lovingly on the cheek.

“Chihiro,” Risuni said. “This is my cousin, Shika.” She laughed as Chihiro boggled, and revised her statement. “My _very_ distantly related cousin.”

The deer raised itself onto its hind legs and became a lean, dark-skinned young man, about their age, in a straw hat, frayed, threadbare pants, and a tattered green vest that showed off his wiry, muscular limbs. Standing next to the pale, always immaculate Prince Kohaku, they could’ve been landowner and slave. He bowed to Haku, sweeping off his hat and revealing a top-knot.

To Chihiro’s amazement, Haku, who had been tense and barely contained all day, laughed. “Your poor parents! You are a _sight_ to behold,” he said. Shika smiled.

“Ready to go home?” Shika asked, looking around at them all.

For the second time that day, Chihiro found herself deprived of her sight. The six of them clasped hands as they walked through the thick fog, and in less than fifteen minutes, emerged from the thick white shroud to see mountains and people bent over in rice paddies.

"Oniisannn!" A child's voice came from the rocky outcropping before them. "Oniisan...where are you? I know I haven't come to see you and I'm sorry. Please come out? Oniisan!"

"Ryoshi, I'm here." Shika said calmly. "Shush, little one." The boy's head popped up over the edge of the ground. He was frowning. "Shika-oniisan! I'm Kojika, not Ryoshi," he whined. "Why do you keep forgetting?"

"I don't forget, little one. You'll just always be Ryoshi to me," Shika replied. The boy ran to Shika and clung to his leg. He barely came up to the deer spirit's waist. Chihiro couldn't help but laugh at the sight of his bright red cheeks and grubby little hands and feet. 

"Ryoshi!" Risuni called. The boy looked around Shika's legs at them all. 

"Cousin Risuni!" He ran over and she picked him up into a hug and swung him around. "Not you, too," he said. 

"Alright, Koji," she laughed. "You've grown so big!"

"Hi Auntie," he said, still in Risuni's arms, and then stuck a hand that he'd climbed all over the mountain with into his mouth. 

"Kojika," Suzume said in mock despair, "aren't you getting too old to be eating your dirty fingers?" He shook his head, and his hand slipped out of his mouth. 

"Mommy says it'll make me sick, but the doctor told me that it’s okay to eat dirt sometimes," he said, and stuck his hand right back in.


	7. Only You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Does loving someone mean letting them choose to walk into danger? Or do you keep them in the dark, and protect them?

Suzume insisted that they head straight to the shrine to thank Kami for bringing them home safely, despite protests from Shika that _he’d_ had nothing to do with it. So up the mountain they went – five humans and two disinterested young spirits – with all of their belongings. Once there, Haku and Shika refused to enter, and insisted that Chihiro wait with them for the Shinkonos to finish their prayers. She was quite happy to stand outside. Even a peek inside the shrine made the loud buzzing start again. As they walked back down the mountain to the village, Chihiro wondered aloud about the neglected, smaller shrine on the side. Shika grimaced.

"It’s Shika’s. We built it for him when he was born," Suzume explained. "It's traditional.”

“But Shika would rather run around the mountain and befriend the children of the village than be worshipped in a shrine like a 'proper' spirit" Risuni explained, half teasing.

"It makes me feel old," Shika said, readjusting the position of the sleeping boy he was piggy-backing. "It's much more interesting to do Tenryu’s dirty work." _Tenryu,_ Chihiro thought, feeling a slight twinge of now familiar pain. _I have to try to remember._

“We know, Shika, we know,” Suzume said.

Chihiro was more interested in something else. "Spirits are born?" she asked, her curiosity piqued. 

"Born, created, come into being. It's complicated. You humans come together, you mate, have babies. Simple,” Shika said. Risuni rolled her eyes at this simplification. “It can take any number of spirits to create a mountain, a forest, or a river, and there's never any guarantee that a spirit will be born. No one knows what will work until - poof - a new spirit."

“In other words, we have no idea,” Haku said drily. “No one has bothered to figure it out, because it hadn’t been a problem until the last few hundred years. Before that, spirits were born all the time, and then mostly left to their own devices.”

"So do spirits have family? Parents?"

"Technically, yes," Haku said. "But seeing as most spirits never really “parent,” families are more of a...political construct than anything."

"Spirit children are rare these days, and no one knows why," Shika said, "so everyone looks up to those who become parents. Children have become status symbols. Spirits put less work into their children that humans do and expect a lot more. Having a powerful child, like Tenryu, is a mark of high status, whereas having a child like me is a...well..."

"Disappointment?" Haku suggested, remembering all the times Shika’s parents had complained about him at court.

"To put it mildly," Shika said. "Being worshipped is power. Being befriended is a disgrace."

"Being killed," Haku said, "is also a disgrace. To put it mildly."

That night, Chihiro lay awake for a long time thinking about everything that had happened that day. Since that morning, she had been separated from her parents (Akio had called to say that Yuuki was doing well,) traveled halfway across Japan in fifteen minutes, and watched a deer turn into a man. Her best friend had implied that she was part spirit. She had found out that Haku was a prince, and though he had never explicitly said so, she was pretty sure he was a dragon. She had friends, (friends!) in the spirit world who knew her, even though she didn’t remember them. Yesterday seemed forever ago, but she was strangely unshaken. She felt as if she had prepared for this her entire life, reading and collecting folk tales.

She thought about her dreams, and how Haku had said that her memories had been banished there, and vowed to try harder to remember them. She slept a dreamless sleep for the first time in weeks.

\---

The next evening, Haku sat outside under the open sky. Light shone warmly from inside the house, but the starlight dancing across Haku's skin through the gaps in the leaves was far sweeter.

"You need to tell her soon," Shika said from beside him. "She deserves to know, and you don’t have much time. She’ll need time to think about it."

Haku ignored him and stared at the silhouette of the two laughing girls on the brightly lit window-paper. He had watched all day as the mountain village welcomed Chihiro warmly and without question. He had watched how Risuni and Chihiro had cared for the younger children and were fed to stuffing by every family they met. They cooked and cleaned and brought water to those working the fields. They climbed all over the mountains fetching firewood. The good villagers were impressed by Chihiro. "Where did a city girl learn to work the Japanese way?" they asked good-naturedly. "Haven't you all westernized by now?" She didn’t know the answer – the gate had banished her memories of her first “job,” scrubbing the floors of the bathhouse as a child and gaining an appreciation for hard work – but that didn’t stop their praise from making its way into her veins and to her heart. In the mountain village, the air was sweet and the people were kind. Time flowed seamlessly, hour into hour, undivided by mechanical ticking. The sun had flown across the sky, and as it had, Haku had grown quiet and distant.

_What she deserves_ , Haku thought, _is to live a life filled with meaningful interactions with good people, rather than the high stress life of the city where the important things are drowned in the noise of a great many urgent things. She may deserve a choice, but she does not deserve to have the hopes of two peoples pinned on her._

_I’d expected Fuji to last longer than that. I wanted more time, but at least the eruption got her away from the concrete jungle, if only for a short time._

The door slid open, throwing light and long shadows across the grass. Haku blinked and shielded his eyes from the glare. Through the spaces between his fingers, he saw the dark shapes of the girls step down off the raised floor of the house. A wind sprite whirled around the corner of the house and playfully tugged on their clothes and hair. Though they were tired, it seemed that all their cares had fallen away. Chihiro stood straighter. The tension had come out of her shoulders. _How could I take that away from her?_

"Little sister wind," Shika whispered. "How are you?"

The breeze spun around Shika affectionately and kissed him gently on the cheek. It brushed Haku's sleeve softly, timidly.

_Even the spirits are happier here_ , Haku thought. "It's okay," he mouthed, holding out a hand. "I won't hurt you, little sister." The wind rested on his palm for a brief moment, then flew off again - a lively wind never stopped for long - and then Chihiro was in front of him, her clothes softly billowing in the breeze. She sat down and the breeze wafted her scent toward him. He felt her settle down next to him – she gave off heat like a small star - but he couldn’t look at her. She was too vulnerable, too fragile, too happy for him to ruin it now. Instead, he stared out to where the Milky Way was splayed across the sky, trying to ignore their proximity.

She smelled of rain. _Why did she smell of rain?_

_Rain. Wet earth._

_Rain pattering overhead on the surface, on his scales, splashing - the most beautiful music he had ever heard. And the little fish, how they danced, jumping above the surface to snatch at the insects._

A soft nudge from Shika brought him back. He hadn’t realized that he’d closed his eyes to take in the memory.

He looked around. Shika sat leaning against the tree and had an arm around Risuni, who rested against his side comfortably, telling him about the families she’d visited that day. Chihiro sat listening just an arm’s length away, but she seemed separated from him by miles.

Then something touched his arm, startling him.

"What's the matter?" Chihiro asked. Her fingers had brushed his sleeve. She was so close.

"Nothing." He looked away. He could feel Shika's eyes boring into his skin. _She's still so kind. And she shows it to everyone, even people that others would never think...like No-Face. Who else would have done that?_

_Is this what Zeniiba and Kamaji keep referring to? Is love just this kindness?_

“I’m thinking about the war,” Haku said carefully. “The Gate is what’s keeping your memories locked away. I wonder if there’s a way to get them back, other than destroying the barrier.”

“Do you think it should be destroyed?” Chihiro asked.

“Don’t you want to get those memories back?” Shika asked in surprise.

“Don’t you think spirits ought to be protected from humans?” Chihiro replied.

“Think about the people you met today,” Shika argued. “They’ve lived in harmony with kami for thousands of years. Is it fair to take that away from them?”

“But not all humans are like that. In fact, most aren’t, and you can’t deny that we’ve been responsible for a huge amount of destruction on this planet.”

The door opened again. "Chihiro!" Suzume called. "Your parents are on the phone."

Chihiro jumped up.

"Wait a second," Shika said. “Haku. If you don’t tell her now, I will.” Haku glared at him.

"What is it?" Chihiro said.

“She needs to know,” Shika said.

Haku tried to say something angry to Shika. His mouth moved but nothing came out. He tried again. The moment stretched. When he finally could talk his voice was low and rough. "They say… they say you can end the war.” Haku’s eyes were closed and his hands were shaking. Chihiro stared at him.

“The spirit world needs you, Chihiro,” Shika said. “You can bring down the barrier. You can end Amaterasu’s Sorrow.”

"Chihiro!" Suzume called again.

Chihiro startled and ran to the house, leaving Haku alone with Shika and Risuni.

“Shika,” Risuni said. “You can’t be serious. Chihiro can’t possibly-”

“Zeniiba believes she can,” Shika said quietly. “We need her.”

“But-“

“I know it sounds incredible. But once you hear her story, you realize that _she_ is incredible.”

“She is still only a _girl,_ Shika.”

Chihiro’s voice cut through the air, interrupting Risuni’s protest.

"Dad! How's Mom?" There was a pause. "That's great!" Pause. "What? Tokyo?" Pause. "As soon as possible?"

By now, the three sitting outside were staring at the house, frozen, straining to catch her words.

"Dad, I can't," Chihiro said. "I’ve gotta do something here first." A long pause. "I have to help a friend out. No, it's okay. Really." There was the sound of muttering.

Suzume's voice took over. "Akio," she said soothingly. "I have a suggestion. Listen. How about you and Yuuki come and join Chihiro here when Yuuki is feeling up to it? It's no trouble to us here, and it'll save you from paying for hotel space."

"Yes, of course." Pause. "It really is no trouble at all." Pause. "Yes, and there's a local high school here that the girls can attend temporarily until everything is sorted out."

"It's settled then?" The eavesdroppers breathed three identical sighs of relief. "Next week? Great. We'll get everything ready for you here." Pause. "It's no problem, Akio. Don't worry about it. Do you want to talk to Chihiro again?" The talking paused as the phone changed hands.

"I'm sure, Dad. I'll be fine. This is really important to me..."

"Her parents are going to be here next week," Shika said in a low voice. "What are they going to say if she’s not here? You can't put this off anymore, Haku."

"I know," Haku said. His voice was still hoarse.

Shika mumbled something back, but shook his head when Risuni shot him a questioning look.  
\---

"Are you sure you want to do this, Chihiro?"

"A chance to end this war? We've seen the destruction. We've been a part of it. How could I not take the chance?"

"But it could be dangerous!" Risuni protested.

"I know."

"Couldn't someone else do it?"

"No," Chihiro said. "You saw how conflicted Haku was. He knows it's dangerous, and he doesn't want me to do it. If there was another option, he wouldn't have told me about it at all. He almost didn't say anything. And,” she added,” I would never forgive myself if I could have, and didn’t. I trust him. It's strange. I don't consciously know him very well, but I can feel that he knows me and cares about me, and I don't know why. What could I possibly have done that makes him care like this, and why can't he tell me?"

They both knew there was no answer to this, and Chihiro expected no answer, but still she needed Risuni to know of these thoughts. There were no answers to be offered, only comfort.

They had talked late into the night. Risuni would not go, to her parents' relief. Chihiro would have two guides - Haku and Shika – to take her to the palace. Another human, even one with spirit blood, would only attract attention, and attention, Haku insisted, they could not afford. They had already attracted enough attention to the family and the village, evacuating through the spirit world the way they had. If only they could do what they had to do without anyone realizing until it was done - that would be best. Neither Haku nor Shika would specify what this was, for fear the wind would carry the words away.

The hope of this happening was not high, but it was all they had.

When Chihiro finally slept, it was fitful.

\---

“I’m sorry, Haku. I shouldn’t have pushed you into this.”

“Don’t worry; you haven’t been the only one.”

“I know. That makes it worse, though.”

The mist billowed around them, but revealed nothing. There was only more mist behind the mist. The world had disappeared.

“I could lose her. What would you do, Shika, if it was Risuni on the line?”

“I _did_ lose Risuni. At least, I had. It’s only because of this stupid war that she’s back at all. But we lose them all in the end. They grow up so fast and their lives are so short. Even more so, now. Most of the young people move to the city to find work. They are all still children in my mind. Even the ones that are gone.”

“How can you bear it?”

“You’ve lived much longer than I. I should be asking you.”

            “I hid away when the humans stopped caring. _I_ stopped caring. If she hadn’t fallen into my river, I would never have noticed her. It’s been eons since I’ve been so close to a human. I’d forgotten what it was like…”

A muffled and rhythmic creaking crept into the air around them. The opaque white mist faded and they emerged into the night at Swamp Bottom. A one-legged lamp bounced out of the trees towards them and bowed, inviting them to follow it into the forest. Silently, they did.

At the door, Shika bowed and bid them good-bye. The mist enveloped him as he walked away. Haku spoke to Zeniiba for a few moments, and then walked to the back of the house and through a paneled sliding door much like the one he had watched the girls walk through, not long ago. The moon shone onto the swamp. Its reflection in the spring mocked Haku. _You can’t protect her. You might’ve been a dragon once, but now you’re just a weakling. Practically a human._

Haku stared into the water. “Please,” he said. “I need to be myself again.” And then he stepped into the spring.

\---

_Haku sat cross-legged on the shining surface of a pool; his palms lay face-down on the water at his sides. He closed his eyes and reached within himself with his mind, pulling out a thin silver strand. As he gathered it with his mind, liquid light spread from each palm and settled onto the surface of the spring around him like the reflection of a great moon. The light spread in ripples, with him at its center. Gradually, the water rose around him to surround him with a smooth wall, glistening and crystalline in the moonlight._

_The spring filled Haku's consciousness. He saw the rocky bottom and the tiny creatures that lived in the cracks there. He tasted the minerals that were dissolved in the water, felt the bubbles from below the earth disturbing the spring at the fissures. He felt the moon's pull that caused the slight ebb of the tide._

_And then his mind was filled with different images - not of the spring - but of his memories. Grasses the color of his hair lined the bottom of this water, and small fish swam among them. Crabs and the occasional turtle lived under the rocks. Leaves covered the surface, and then ice. It laughed as it skipped along and tripped down small waterfalls like a child, and it was so comfortable, so right._

_The weight of loss pressed on him as he tried to raise the wall higher, but now his mind rejected his magical handling of the water. It was too like and too different from his river, the amber river which he had lost._

_The water fought his control. It refused to obey. He tried again to force the water higher with his mind and to block out the memories, but he was tired, and grief swept over him and took away his willpower. Without it, he had no strength. The wall of water collapsed back into the pool with a splash, and the silver light dissipated. Haku opened his eyes to stand up again, and stumbled when his feet touched the bottom of the pool. The liquid no longer supported him. The water left his clothes as he went; it preferred to stay in the pool rather than to cling to this scornful master. He dragged himself back to a house and staggered through paneled doors to a darkened room. He lay on the bed, trembling with fatigue and remembering._

Thus Chihiro dreamt. Then dawn came, but unlike the other dreams, this dream did not fade.


	8. Through the Rabbit Hole

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's too late to back out now...

The sky was still gray when Shika came back to the house. The mountains were dark silhouettes against the brightening sky.

“Where’s Haku?” Chihiro whispered when Shika woke her. Shika just shook his head and put a finger to his lips.

The narrow streets were empty. Even the most diligent villagers were just stirring, and they did not meet anyone. Shika led her up the mountain to where the forest grew, and then took her hand. A cloud descended upon them, creeping in from all sides. They walked into the forest until the mist shrouded them, and all around them was whiteness.

“It’s safe to talk now,” Shika said. His voice was strangely muffled. “They can’t hear us here.”

“What is this place?” Chihiro found that her voice fell flat, too. The air was perfectly still.

“Think of this as the wood between the worlds,” Shika said. “As far as I know, I’m the only one who can come here, so don’t let go of me. It’s easy to get lost in here, but it’s the only way to cross the border without going through the Gate.”

“Where’s Haku?” Chihiro asked.

“He’s on the other side, waiting for us. It would attract unwanted attention if the three of us traveled together this morning. We’ve only got about fifteen minutes, so let me fill you in. It’s simple in theory. We need to go see the Dragon King and convince him to stop this awful migration. There are a lot of politics involved in getting an audience with him, but if we can manage it he’ll have the power to do something about it. Once he sees that humans are not evil and that spirits don’t need to flee, he can make the spirits see sense, and the havoc in the human world will stop. We already have spells in place to take out the barrier. With his approval, we’ll be able to set off those spells without repercussion.”

“The problem is that spirits can smell a human from miles away. The smell takes three days of Spirit World food to wear off. You’ll have a target painted on your forehead until then so we can’t afford to attract any attention. We’ll need to hide until that happens, to even have a chance of getting to the palace.”

“So where are we going now?”

“To a friend’s. Zeniiba’s. She’s a witch and powerful enough to deter our enemies unless the Prince of Darkness himself decides to get his hands dirty. You’ll stay there for the three days with Haku to protect you. When the scent wears off, Haku will take you to see the King.”

“The prince of darkness?”

“My personal name for Akuma. Do you remember the story? Everything leads back to Akuma. And I’m afraid he has Prince Fujisan on his side. Fujisan thinks Akuma will guarantee him succession of King Nikonhai’s throne.”

 _The throne…_ “Why me?” Chihiro asked. “Why do you need me to go see the King?”

“I can’t answer that…” Shika said slowly. “I don’t want to influence you that way. And anyway, any memories I give you are just stories to you. There’s no way for me to tell you who you were or how you felt.”

Chihiro tried to understand that Shika was respecting and trusting her, but it didn’t make it any less frustrating.

“Then can you tell me about Haku?”

“What about Haku?”

“He’s a prince?”

Shika looked at Chihiro sharply before replying: “Succession is complicated in the Spirit World. His father is the king, but that doesn’t mean he’ll get the throne. There is never a guarantee. The heir is chosen by a council from all of the eligible young dragons, and family, which is convoluted anyway, doesn’t have much to do with it, except that the royal children are trained to lead. What matters is that he was a favorite for succession before he disappeared, and now, who knows?”

“What do you mean? What happened to him?” Chihiro asked.

“Hmm. You should remember a river by the name of Kohaku?”

“The Kohaku River…oh! My parents used to take us picnicking on the bank, back in the city. It was filled in…it’s all…apartments…that’s what he meant by ‘being killed.’”

“Yes. Haku used to be the spirit of the Kohaku River. When the river was filled in, he should have died. Instead he forgot who he was and lost his magic and became a witch’s apprentice. You found him, Chihiro, seven years ago, and you helped him to remember who he was.”

“I wish I could remember all of this! Is that why- “

“Time’s up,” Shika said, putting a finger to his lips again. A moment later, they were walking out of the fog and down a path in another wood. The trees were different here. The sunlight barely made it through the leaves. It splattered on the ground, leaving the impression of water. The ground was springy underfoot. A swamp.

As they walked, Chihiro couldn’t help looking over her shoulder. _The sixth stop,_ a voice said in the back of Chihiro’s mind. The skin on the back of her neck prickled. Her knees shook. Was she remembering? Was something following them? She tried to shake the thought away.  They walked faster. _The sixth stop._ She began to feel nauseous, and the buzzing started again in her head, loudly. Her last thought before she blacked out was that she must’ve been here before.

Shika saw Chihiro falter and caught her as she went limp. He ran, carrying her. Behind him, he heard rustling. He ran faster.

Zeniiba appeared in front of them. She made a slicing motion and behind them, something yelped. Shika ran right past her before he slowed, breathing heavily in the eve of the house. They were in safe territory now. He looked up to see Haku standing in the shadow of the doorway. His knuckles were white from clutching the doorframe. He stared at the unconscious girl in his friend’s arms, but her breathing was deep and steady. He stepped back without a word and led them in.

\---

“It was the tengu again. That’s the third time this week I’ve had to warn it off.”

“Do you think it’s working for _him_?”

“I don’t know, but it knows she’s here.”

“So what do we do? Do we change the plan?”

“Move her? She’ll risk being seen again.”

Chihiro opened her eyes. The room was elegantly but sparsely furnished. It reminded her of Risuni’s house. She recognized the voices of Haku and Shika beyond the door. The third voice had to be the witch. Zeniiba, she was called. 

She opened the door the voices came from. Haku and Shika were sitting at a large wooden table, looking at her. There was no one else. She closed her eyes.

“This room looks different,” she said when she opened them again.

“Very good, Chihiro,” came the witch’s voice. Chihiro looked around for the source. “You’ve been here before, so we moved the furniture to avoid triggering the curse. Two of us are invisible,” the voice explained.

The voice was closer to Chihiro now. An old, wrinkled hand took hers. “I am Zeniiba,” the voice said. Zeniiba moved Chihiro hand until she touched a thin wrist. “This is No-Face.” The sensations were familiar, but not so familiar that she felt threatened. She trusted Zeniiba. Haku looked relieved.

“How long was I asleep?” Chihiro asked.

“For most of the day,” Haku said. “You must have recognized the path to the house, and the charm put you to sleep to protect your mind.”

“It’s just as well,” Shika said. “Time runs differently here. Spirits are for the most part nocturnal. You’re just in time for breakfast.” He grinned.

“I’m sure you’ll want to get cleaned up first,” Zeniiba said. “There’s a spring behind the house. Why don’t you go wash up?”

\---

Chihiro waded into the spring. It was deep enough to swim in and slightly cool on her skin. The pool was crystal clear, and she could see to the rocky bottom. Though the water was connected to the rest of the swamp; the pool was continuously renewed by the spring. She dunked her head in and started pulling her fingers through her hair. It was surprising how easily the knots came out, considering she didn’t have shampoo. Leaves, twigs, and pieces of bark floated around her, and were carried away by the gentle current. Once her hair was to her satisfaction, it billowed under the water around her while she started on her body. The water seemed different from any water at home. It seemed alive. As she thought this, the dream from the night before came back to her. She had dreamed of this very spot. Haku had sat upon this water.

Chihiro heard the door open and turned to see Zeniiba come out with a thick, fluffy towel. Or rather, the towel floated out the door on its own. As she left the spring, the water clung to her feet. She dried herself off and wrapped herself in the towel, and went through the paneled doors into the house. There was a beautiful kimono on the bed and next to the bed, a small bedside table. The kimono was rich blue silk with silver branches and white cherry blossoms embroidered on it. Chihiro was stroking the soft cloth with her fingers when Zeniiba came in.

“This is Haku’s room,” Zeniiba said. “I found this kimono for you. You’ll be beautiful in it.”

Chihiro had never worn a formal kimono before, only simple ones. They had always looked very uncomfortable to her – there was just so much cloth. The next few minutes passed in a whirl as Zeniiba showed her how each piece was fastened. To Chihiro, it seemed as if the kimono had put itself on her. When the last silver sash had been tied around her waist, Chihiro moved her limbs experimentally. The cloth was soft and thin, and allowed more mobility than she had thought possible. She slipped her feet into bamboo sandals like the ones she had seen Haku wear. She could feel Zeniiba beaming at her, invisibly.

She opened the door and Chihiro stepped out. For some silly reason, she was nervous.

Haku was standing looking out the window. He turned at the creak of the door. Chihiro stared; her breath caught. Haku stood tall and dignified in a knee-length white kimono with teal edges. The cloth shimmered with a pattern of scales. He had untied his hair and it just brushed the shoulders of his kimono. Inside, his shirt and hakama, which reached the tops of his feet, were the same deep blue as Chihiro’s kimono. Its simplicity practically radiated all the power and grace of a dragon.

Haku was stunned by Chihiro’s elegance. The cloth draped over her shoulders and hugged her small frame, while the sleeves and bow behind her made her seem more modest and innocent than ever. The blue silk and silver embroidery reminded Haku of the night sky and the pink flowers in her hair brought out the blush in her cheeks. Her rich brown eyes made the night sky seem welcoming. _She belongs in a kimono._ Haku smiled. “You look beautiful,” he said.

Chihiro realized she’d been staring. A blush rose on her cheeks. She looked away and her eyes met Shika’s, who now looked even more out of place in his peasant garb.

“Sexy, isn’t he?” Shika said, smirking. It made Chihiro blush even more, but the friendly banter made her feel less out of her element. She could see where Risuni had picked up her snark.

“Are you jealous?” she asked, smiling too now.

“Of _him_? Nah, my charming personality more than makes up for his good looks.” And they laughed until the invisible presence of No-Face forcibly dragged them to the table to be fed.


	9. Dragon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are consequences for triggering those memories. Be careful.

After a short discussion they decided that it wasn’t worth the risk to move Chihiro. They would stick with their original plan. Shika bid them goodbye soon after, saying that it would draw attention for him to leave the village for too long. Chihiro thought that anything they did would probably draw attention, but said nothing. These two knew their enemy, after all. She didn’t. Haku went into his room and closed the door without explanation. With nothing else to do, Chihiro asked Zeniiba to teach her to knit.

Zeniiba was an effective and patient teacher, and soon Chihiro was sitting at the wooden table working on a short scarf with Zeniiba beside her. In the corner, the spinning wheel whirred, powered by the invisible No-Face. The work was calming, and as her fingers worked, her mind wandered. She thought of her dream. How many other dreams, she wondered, were locked within the confines of her subconscious, unable to surface? How much of the past, her past, was out of reach? Why did she remember this one? Her fingers counted the stitches for her as she recalled the dream.

There had been a spring. She was almost sure it was the same one she had bathed in earlier. _But my head didn’t hurt when I saw it – why would I dream of it?_ Haku had been there, too, sitting on the water. Not floating in the water or in the air, either. It was as if the water was solid to him. _Light_ , _magic maybe,_ _had flowed from his fingers like moonlight. The water shone when it was filled the light, reflecting light back up into the moon. It was beautiful. Without it, the water looked lonely. Still. It needed the light to be alive, but the light pushed it away. The light hated it._

_No,_ Chihiro thought _. He just needs time._

_He hates us. But you don’t. You hear us and he hates us but you hear us. The water rippled._

_He lost a dear friend. He’s grieving. Who am I talking to,_ she wondered _._

_Us. What’s grieving? You hear us._

_He is hurt. He misses her. You remind him of her, she thought soothingly. Give him a chance._

\---

Haku crossed the room and opened the paneled doors. He looked at the spring for a moment, breathing, calming his mind. The spring water was talking, almost drowning out the other small nighttime noises.

_What’s happened?_ he thought _._

He stepped into the water and was hit with a barrage of thoughts. Images. The sound of the wavelets lapping the stone bank became thousands of voices clamoring, overlapping each other, all saying the same thing:  

_The girl the girl the girl the girl_

_The girl_

_The girl the girl_

_The girl_

Haku was astonished. _The girl? Chihiro?_

There was a slight lull, as if the spring was thinking this over.

_Chihiro._ The voices tried out the name. _Chihiro. Her voice warm. Laughter. Chihiro. Like bubbles sparkles! Warm rain. She loves us! Hears us loves us! Chihiro loves us warm hears us loves us._

_Loves you?_

Haku had never heard the spring’s voice before. The most he’d ever felt were vague feelings, naggings, nothing so concrete. It was younger than the voice of his river, like that of many excited children. Did it mean to say that Chihiro had heard it, too?

_She heard us! She said we were beautiful! She hears us loves us. Love her happy love her Chihiro love her!_

The spring sounded so earnest and so innocent that Haku had to smile. Love. The word seemed foreign. The spring knew more about love than he did. If he had ever loved anything, it was his river. But that had belonged to him. It _was_ him. When it had gone…was pain a part of love?

He remembered not being able to breathe when he woke up and learned that Chihiro had gone to apologize to Zeniiba for him. When he had made the deal with Yubaba to get Chihiro home, there had been no fear at all. He hadn’t feared what might happen to him. Letting her hand slip away, telling her not to look back, feeling his chest crush his heart, that pain was exactly the same as when he thought of his river. The thought of her had kept him alive on more than one occasion. And now that she was finally here, where he could hear her voice reach out to touch her, where she wasn’t just a dream, the thought of Akuma getting his hands on her made him cold with fear. Was that love?

The water heard his convoluted thoughts. It bubbled and lapped at his ankles, worried, soothing him. “We’ll keep her safe together, right?” The spring fervently agreed in a way only water can. Haku laughed softly at its eagerness. The spring was nothing like his river. He was never going to get his river back, but maybe he wasn’t betraying it if he talked to this spring. He sat down on the surface of the water. The water was eager and knew what he wanted it to do. Before Haku could even ask, it rose up and encased Haku like a bud, a flower. It had a guardian now.

\---

Haku didn’t come back in that night or the next night. Zeniiba told Chihiro not to worry, but it was lonely. She liked Zeniiba, but she couldn’t get use to talking to someone she couldn’t see. By the end dawn of the third day, she had finished the scarf. She set the needles in the basket and walked through Haku’s bedroom into the swamp and sat down at the edge of the spring. The water hadn’t talked to her since that first evening, and she was beginning to think that it had been her overactive imagination.

The moon was low in the sky, casting its light and shadows of trees across the surface of the water. A flock of snow geese flew through the reflection. Chihiro touched the spring, sending ripples through the images. A sense of deep belonging and contentment came over her.

_Are you happy?_ she asked the water silently.

In reply the water bubbled around her fingers excitedly. She got the feeling that the spring wanted to show her something. Something had happened. The best thing. The bubbling soon became frothing and then churning. Amidst the churning a great white dragon rose out of the water, even though the water was crystal clear and it had certainly not been there before. Even though only the part of the dragon that was out of the water seemed to exist at all. Chihiro snapped her eyes shut as pain almost cleaved her head in two and she nearly fell into the spring.

Strong arms caught her. Strong, dry arms. Caught her and held her until the pain finally faded into sleep.

\---

Chihiro awakened once again to voices. Urgent, angry voices.

“How could you do this to her!”

“Shika, listen.”

“We don’t have time for this.”

“Listen to me.”                       

“You should’ve been more careful, Haku! It’s enough to give any normal girl a fright!”

“Yes, I should’ve.” There were so many things Haku wanted to say – he was sorry, he’d been caught up in the emotions of a new body and hadn’t been thinking straight - but Shika was right. There wasn’t time. “Calm down and listen to me. There’s no way I can take her to the palace. Her mind can’t handle it. You’re going to have to do it.”

Shika heard enough through his sputtering to get the gist. “How do I get her inside?”

“I’ll meet you there. I can be of some use here. I’ll distract _him_ while you go.”

“Do you realize how risky this is going to be? We’re going to have to cross over. It would take weeks to travel straight. And we’ll have to linger somewhere. That’ll be a perfect time for him to find us.”

Chihiro walked quietly to the door, which was ajar, just in time to see Haku running a hand through his hair.

“I don’t see any other way this could work,” he said. He looked up and beckoned Chihiro to come in. They both looked relieved. “I’m so sorry,” he said. “Are you alright?”

“You were the dragon,” Chihiro said, sitting down at the table with them. Haku nodded. “But the spring was empty, and then…” She hissed in pain. Her head hurt when she tried to remember.

“Don’t push yourself too hard,” Shika said. “Haku’s right. There’s no way you can travel with him in his dragon form like this. We hoped that it would’ve been different enough from what you remember, the way Haku’s human form is, to be unrecognizable.”

“Impossible,” Chihiro laughed. “With the daily experience I have with dragons, I’m surprised long, white airplanes don’t trigger the spell.” She was suddenly serious again. “You’re going to put yourself in danger? To distract Ak-“

Haku placed a hand over her mouth to stop her from saying the name. “Not here,” he said. “Even with Zeniiba holding a ward, it’s not safe. In the human world, or when telling a story, he likely won’t pay much attention. But he will definitely hear you here. Names have a lot of power, especially in this world.” Chihiro nodded. “And yes, I will. Because it is important that you get to the palace, with or without me.”

“Be realistic, Haku.” Shika said. “We’re not likely to get an audience without you, what with your brother under _his_ influence.”

“Nonetheless,” Haku began.

“I know, I know, you have to go be manly and save the day,” Shika interrupted. “Sorry, I mean _dragonly_.” Chihiro giggled helplessly.

“Don’t get your scales into a ruffle,” Shika said, seeing Haku’s angry look. “We know that you can take care of yourself. But it would be best if we could figure out a way for you to signal us in the human world from here, so we can leave at the last possible minute to meet you at the palace.”

They talked a while of ideas, but soon lapsed into talk about the state of the spirit world. Chihiro learned that spirits were much more sensitive to what humans called “environmental issues.” To them, they were health problems – an insidious disease that spread everywhere and caused physical pain - and humans were the carriers. It was little wonder, then, that some spirits thought that humans were as bad as the disease. It was a problem from both sides. Very few spirits got to know humans personally anymore, and many assumed that all humans were the same. Zeniiba and Kamaji, another friend, she learned, theorized that this was the cause of the declining birth rate of the spirit world, though neither of them were quite sure how. One thing was sure, though: 

“Spirits used to breed like rabbits,” Shika said to Chihiro in a stage whisper, making her giggle again. Haku only shook his head.

Those spirits that did know humans were also very sensitive to human emotion, and more recently, the incidence of depression had skyrocketed. Humans focused more and more on living busy, productive, and stressful lives and lost sight of what was most important and fulfilling. Instead, they lived by the numbers: the most money in the least time. As much as spirits hated humans and didn’t understand their obsession with pieces of paper, the attitude was catching.

It was nearly noon when everyone finally went off to bed, to get as much rest as they could before what they hoped was a relatively simple venture. 


	10. Tokyo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> People are not what they seem. Everyone holds something dear inside.

Chihiro dreamt of blood dripping down her sides. _Stop! Why are you doing this? Your family needs you. Your daughter is waiting for you to come home. No! Go home, damn it, live! She pleaded with him helplessly. It was no use. The scent of death permeated the forest. Blood stained the earth. He had been a happy child once, had played where his body now lay. She vomited as she cried, sick to her stomach from grief and horror._

Chihiro woke, curled up on the bed. Her heart felt torn to pieces. _It’s only a bad dream,_ she told herself. _A nightmare._ But this thought wasn’t as reassuring as it used to be. For all she knew, it had really happened, and the curse had made her forget.

The sun had set. She entered the living room to find a clone of herself sitting at the table. Zeniiba had woven an illusion of Chihiro to accompany Haku. She stared at her made-up, jeans and t-shirt-clad self. She looked so strange, like a different person.

Shika walked in and transformed back into a human, bringing a small smile to Chihiro’s face. Shika’s dark hair was spiked, and he was wearing torn jeans and a leather jacket. He grinned at her and pulled a pair of sunglasses out of his jacket. “How do I look?” he said, propping the sunglasses up on his head. Chihiro only shook her head. Shika raised an eyebrow at this unusual silence. Before he could ask, Haku walked in.

There was little talk at breakfast. Haku and Chihiro were each lost in their own thoughts, and neither responded to Shika’s attempts at cheerful conversation.

Spirits didn’t care much for emotional farewells, Chihiro had realized, but she couldn’t help stopping Haku as he was walking out the door.

“Stay safe,” she said. 

 In response, Haku embraced her. Tightly. She was too surprised to hug him back. He was so warm. When she opened her eyes, he had disappeared through the door. The windows rattled as he took off.

“What do you know,” Shika remarked. “I always thought dragons were made of ice like their palace.”

The wind had only died down for a moment when the leaves were whistling again. From the window they saw the tengu in the form of a large black bird flying over the trees, going the opposite way that Haku had.

“Maybe it’s just a coincidence,” Chihiro said, without much hope.

 “We have to assume that they knew we were here,” Shika said. “Let’s go before it gets back.”

Chihiro climbed onto Shika’s back. The moment they stepped outside, the fog appeared and Shika was galloping full speed into it, wary of any vulnerable moment. Chihiro had never ridden a horse before. She clung on for dear life.

“I thought no one else could get in here?” Chihiro asked, when the fog had fully thickened and still Shika didn’t slow down. He shook his head, nearly swiping Chihiro with his antlers. To the left, she saw a sliver of red in the fog, keeping pace with them. Obviously, they weren’t alone, and Shika had realized this. He didn’t resume human form until the fog had almost thinned completely.

They walked out into Ueno Park, right into a crowd. Even though a thin layer of ash still carpeted the ground, everyone was trying to enjoy the last of the cherry blossoms. No one noticed them appear. Mount Fuji had been quiet since Chihiro had gone to the spirit world, and things looked mostly back to normal. Chihiro took it all in: the chatter of the people all around her, the slight tang of smog, the high-rises she remembered fondly from her childhood trips to Tokyo.

“Wow,” Shika said, grimacing. “How do people live like this?”

“Have you never been to the city before?” Chihiro asked.

“I must confess that I never have,” Shika replied. “I don’t find that I care for it.”

“I don’t see anything wrong with it.” Chihiro said. “Well, where should we go?” Chihiro asked, as Shika grabbed her hand. “What do you think?” He didn’t answer. “What’s the matter?” She turned around. “Shika?” No one gripped her hand. No one was there.

He wasn’t in the crowd. Something red was in a nearby tree – the same color that she had seen in the fog. She was alone. Chihiro felt claustrophobic. The crowd pressed in on every side, shouting happy, meaningless jibber jabber. She stared blankly at them, paralyzed, as they came at her in waves. Sound washed over her, roaring in her ears. She was in a sea of blank, monstrous faces.

“Chihiro!” Someone tapped her on the shoulder. She spun around. A girl stood in front of her. “Hellooo! Earth to Chihiro!” The girl was waving a hand in front of Chihiro’s eyes. Her face slowly came into focus. She looked familiar.

“Yumi?” A girl from school.

“Duh.” Yumi stared at her. “Dude, are you okay?”

“Yeah,” Chihiro said, still dazed. “I’m okay.”

Chihiro let herself be dragged along by Yumi and her new boyfriend through the crowd and out of the park. Through the corner of her eye she saw the red thing following them, whatever it was.

\---

Shika felt his grip on Chihiro fade. His fingers became insubstantial. A familiar sensation pulled him into the fog. It demanded that he return home immediately. _Don’t panic, Chihiro._ Shika thought. _Please, don’t panic. I’ll be back as soon as I can._

_\---_

“Chihiro, let’s go in there. You look terrible.”

Chihiro looked up. Starbucks. A hot drink sounded wonderful. Yumi led the way into the coffee shop.

“Just go sit down,” she said. “I’ll order. The usual?” Chihiro nodded as Yumi’s boyfriend helped her to a table. _I have to pull myself together,_ Chihiro thought. _But Shika. What could have happened?_ Yumi was walking toward them with their coffees. Chihiro tried to think of a story she could tell Yumi, but her mind was still sluggish.

”Here you go,” Yumi said, handing Chihiro a latte and kissing her boyfriend on the cheek. “I don’t know why you insist on drowning your coffee in so much sugar and cream, but to each her own.” She took a long pull of her black coffee before sitting down.

“Thanks, Yumi,” Chihiro said wearily. “I owe you one.” She took a sip. The coffee didn’t taste any different than usual, but Chihiro found it nauseating. She set the cup down. Her hair tie shimmered on her wrist. She had forgotten that she was still wearing it.

Yumi waved off the thanks. “What happened? It was the earthquake, wasn’t it? It took a lot out of all of us.” Chihiro was grateful for the lead. She told Yumi how her mom had broken her leg and had been airlifted to the hospital there in Tokyo as Yumi nodded sympathetically.

Out of the blue, Yumi changed the subject.

“Oh! We found this _adorable_ little shop yesterday. I really want to show you, you’ll love it.”

Chihiro blinked. “Okay.” Yumi’s boyfriend looked briefly surprised, then nodded.

They left the coffee and walked into the street. Yumi led Chihiro up one street and down another, and finally into a narrow alley. At the end was a little stationary shop, one of those tourist traps. Through the window, Chihiro saw pink pencil cases and Hello Kitty plushes. _Yumi thought I would like this?_ thought Chihiro. _There must be thousands of them in Tokyo._

They opened the door with a little tinkle of the bell. In the back, Chihiro caught sight of a red-headed woman behind the counter. She looked familiar. _The red-headed bartender from Starbucks!_ Chihiro’s subconscious screamed. _She was following us the whole time!_

And then Yumi crumpled in front of her. Behind her, she heard the thump of another body falling on to the floor. Before Chihiro could think much of it, she was unconscious.

The woman behind the counter walked over to the two girls now lying as though dead on the floor of the shop. A purple hair tie gleamed on the wrist of one of them. She was the right one. The boss was going to reward her well for this. She beckoned, and Chihiro rose to her feet as though controlled by puppet strings. Her eyes were still closed. The red-haired woman led the unconscious Chihiro through a door in the back of the shop and into a thick fog. With a last tinkle of the bell, the shop disappeared.


	11. Old Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some people you will always be able to depend on. Keep those people close!

Shika walked out of the fog into an underwater grotto. He was fuming, but he knew that if he showed he was angry, this would only take longer.

“Shika,” said a lilting voice from deep within the cave. “Why have you allowed your shrine to come to ruin?”

_Mother_. He gritted his teeth. They hadn’t even seen him yet, and already they were nagging. It was always the same. Always this.

Shika ducked around a stone pillar into a small cavern. A beautiful couple stood there, smiling at him. They had dressed up for the occasion. That couldn’t be good. Shika bowed to them and tried his best to keep the sarcasm from his voice. “Hello Mother, Father. I am here, as summoned.” _What do you want?_

“My son,” Father said, “we have decided that it is time to choose a bride for you.” Shika’s stared at them, speechless. He forgot to rise from his bow.

“With a wife, you could settle down and finally find your place in the world,” Mother said soothingly.

“ _That’s_ why you called me here?” Shika demanded, no longer feeling generous enough to fake a smile. “Now is _not_ a good time for this. In case you haven’t noticed, there’s a war going on. I have no intention of mating anytime soon, and if I did, I’m sure I’d be perfectly capable of choosing my own mate.”

“You will _not_ speak to your mother that way,” Father thundered. “The war is of no consequence. Leave it to Tenryu and others who know what they’re doing.”

“I am not a child anymore, Father!”

“Nevertheless, we want you to meet the girl.” Mother said. “You two are a perfect match. You’ll like her.”

“Fine. You’re not giving me much of a choice.”

“She’ll join us for dinner tomorrow evening. You will stay here until then, to guarantee that you will be present.”

Shika stared at him in horror until the cavern door closed, and long after his parents had disappeared into the dark. No matter how much he protested, it seemed he still only had the rights of a child. He felt in his pocket for the large white scale Haku had given him before they had set out on this mission, which now seemed doomed to failure.

\---

The enormous black bird followed Haku just below the tree line, trying unsuccessfully to stay hidden. It didn’t matter either way. Haku didn’t need to _look_ to know that he was there. Whoever had sent this creature clearly had not done his research. The disturbed air currents broadcasted to every scale on Haku’s body that he was being followed. If the tengu had been at all sensitive in the same way, it would never have mistaken the illusion on Haku’s back for the real thing.

They came to the plains in the east. The bathhouse appeared on the horizon. The distance between them increased as they left the trees behind. Haku pretended to be oblivious to the black shadow that was now painfully obvious. He wondered briefly how a man with such blundering fools as servants managed to get anything done.

By the time they reached the bathhouse, the tengu had become increasingly confident that the white dragon above him was either blind and deaf or an idiot. Haku lit upon the bridge to the cries of “Welcome back, Master Haku!” He switched to human form wearing full royal family regalia, and escorted the fake Chihiro inside. The tengu continued to follow, completely failing to notice the lack of “A human! A human!”

Haku acted as if nothing was amiss. He called for a bath, pretending to be a guest. As the yuna servicewomen bustled about preparing the bath, he gestured to Lin, who was watching from a corner with a bemused smile.

“I was followed,” he said as an explanation. “Will you make sure he’s looked after?”

Lin raised her eyebrows in exasperation. “You don’t need to involve me in this,” she said.

At that moment, a horde of yuna came to proclaim his bath ready, and pulled him away from Lin toward the tub. Haku did not undress, but simply stepped into the tub and melted into the water. The tub might as well have been empty. Seeing this, yuna gradually wandered away to tend to other tasks.

In this state, Haku could not see. Water did not have eyes, after all. But he _could_ and _did_ feel vibrations on the water’s surface caused by sounds. Hearing, in a sense. So he did hear the increase in vibrations that signified the arrival of another guest. He heard Lin’s very particular cadences insisting that the guest wanted a bath, and leading the guest to a vacant tub. As they passed his tub, he formed a head for himself out of the water molecules, and called out to the nearest yuna that he wanted the tub refilled. When the water came, he swam up the stream of water (if it could be called swimming when your body is made of water) into the pipes, and followed the plumbing to the boiler room.

He emerged from the top of the boiler at the same time that a red wooden bath token on a ribbon dropped down from the ceiling. There was a note clipped on with it. Kamaji saw the token before he saw Haku perched near the ceiling, and held it close to his face to read it. The note said “special bath” in Lin’s handwriting. It wasn’t until the sootballs started clamoring in excitement that Kamaji looked up, no doubt to tell them to shut up, and saw Haku.

“Haku!” he exclaimed in surprise. Then he looked at the note he held in his hand. “Do you have something to do with this?”

“Our guest is badly in need of rest, Grandfather,” Haku said, all sincerity. “I’d prefer that he slept through my departure.”

Kamaji chuckled. One long arm snaked out to the wall behind him for an herb that would cause deep sleep, and added it to the water. “When did you get to be so cunning, Haku?” he asked.

Haku stepped off the boiler onto the ground as if he weren’t twenty feet off the ground. He bowed to Kamaji. “Hello, Grandfather.”

“It’s good to see you again, Haku.”

The partition slid open and Lin came in with a basket of the colorful star candies the sootballs loved. It was about lunchtime anyway. “Haku,” she said, glaring at him. “You owe me big time.”

“It’s good to see you, too, Lin,” he replied. “How’s our guest?”

“I think one of the girls may actually not be disappointed tonight.”

“Thank them for me, will you?”

“You don’t actually want to do that. You’ll give them ideas.”

“Thank _you_ , then.”

“As well you should. My dignity…”

_HAKU._ Haku looked around, but no one had screamed his name. _Haku!_ His skin prickled where his tail ought to be. The voice was in his head, and then he realized where it came from.

_Shika,_ he acknowledged.

_We’d just gotten to Tokyo and then my_ parents _pulled me out. They’ve locked me in the cave. Pardon my French, but I’m_ grounded.

_She’s alone._

_Worse. Someone followed us through the mist. He, she, it was in Tokyo with us. I caught a glimpse._

_How long has it been?_

_Maybe an hour. Haku, you can’t go after her. You’re too conspicuous, and we have no idea where she would be by now._

_I know. I’m with Kamaji and Lin. We’ll ask. Someone must’ve been in the park. They’ll have seen._

_I’m sorry._

Haku didn’t reply, only cut off the connection. He turned to Lin and Kamaji, grim-faced. 


	12. Aokigahara

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fujisan has his reasons.

_A little girl wandered the forest, crying for her parents. Chihiro appeared before her and took her hand. She did not have the body she was used to. Her hands were older and the skin cracked and hardened from wind and cold. The girl’s hand felt smooth and soft on her own. She was still chubby with baby fat. She bent before the girl and wiped away her tears, and then led the girl up the mountain. The girl could not survive. Her parents weren’t coming back. They couldn’t afford to feed both her and her baby brother, and they’d wanted a boy. The girl was too young to understand. Some of them, a little older but still only seven or eight, came knowing what was happening. Knowing they were being abandoned by their loved ones. The parents were sometimes crying, too, as they said goodbye to their daughters, leaving them into the care of the mountain spirit. Sometimes they left the old ones as well. The grandparents who were too old to work for their keep._

_The spirit of the forest spent all of her time crying now, and never came out, so Chihiro wandered the forest day after day in her stead. She couldn’t take them all in. She could only comfort them and release their spirits in their sleep, as painlessly as possible._

Chihiro woke to darkness. She sat up slowly, the dream burning bright in her mind. She thought she knew who she had been, in the dream. One rough stone wall stood within arm’s reach. As her eyes adjusted, a single thin line of light appeared beneath what she could only assume was the door. Beyond that door, there were voices. One of them sounded male.

“You have done well, my dear, to bring me the girl.” The voice was soft and cold, sending shivers down Chihiro’s spine.

“Thank you, Master,” said a meek voice. A woman’s voice.

_Master. That was Akuma talking, then?_

“I am not finished,” the cold voice snapped. “You left witnesses. You were _fully aware_ that there were witnesses, yet you did not take care of them as soon as you were aware of their presence.”

 _He must mean Yumi and her boyfriend,_ Chihiro thought. _Please let them be okay._

“But they were innocent!” the woman protested.

“They _saw_ ,” the voice hissed. There was a little strangled noise, then the thump of a body hitting the ground. Chihiro muffled a gasp. Over the woman’s ragged breathing, the voice continued, softly: “It is no matter. Their memories have been erased. As your reward for bringing me the girl, I will indulge in your silly notions of _innocence._ ” He spat out the word ‘innocence’ like it was poison.

Suddenly, his voice was sweet again. Chihiro found this even more frightening than when the voice was cruel. At least the cruelty was honest. “What are you doing on the floor, my dear Kitsune? It’s time to prepare the spell. She’ll need it within the hour, and we want to take good care of her, don’t we?”

The woman picked herself off with a rustle of silk. “Yes, Master.” She walked away, her footsteps uneven and echoing slightly. Stronger footsteps strode off in the opposite direction.

Chihiro listened carefully for any other movement on the other side of the door, but heard nothing. So after a while, she got up carefully, and pushed gently on the door. It moved. Chihiro drew her hand back. She hadn’t expected it to actually open. Before her imagination could fill her mind with nightmares, she pushed open the door. Its weight resisted slightly but it opened quietly. The room beyond could’ve been any traditional Japanese study in the dark, but Chihiro could tell without seeing that the quality of the furnishings was way above anything she’d seen before.

In the end what drew Chihiro through the doorway were the bookshelves that lined the walls. She was picking her way across the floor when a door opened. She spun around. The red-haired bartender and stationary store-keeper stood silhouetted in the doorway, looking just as stunned as Chihiro felt. She carried a tray.

“You’re not supposed to be out here,” the woman whispered. The tray shook in her hands.

“Kitsune,” Chihiro whispered back. The woman flinched. “You shouldn’t let anybody treat you that way.”

The woman, Kitsune, placed the tray on a table and closed the door behind her. As she turned, the light outside the room illuminated her face, and Chihiro saw a dark bruise spreading up from her neck.

“You deserve better than that,” Chihiro said when the door closed.

“I don’t have any choice,” said Kitsune. She shook her head. “Go back in there, and eat some of this.” She picked up the tray and herded Chihiro back into the cell with it. In the faint light from the open door, Chihiro could see the small mat at the back of the cell meant for a bed and a bucket in the corner. Kitsune handed the tray to Chihiro before she left. There was a bowl of rice on it, topped with something. “It’s only sleeping potion,” she said to reassure Chihiro. Then she touched Chihiro’s arm, whether in appreciation or apprehension Chihiro couldn’t tell, and left. The door closed behind her. She touched it softly. It wasn’t locked.

Chihiro looked at the food. It smelled good. She was starving. She didn’t know how long she had been unconscious, and she didn’t know how long ago it was that she last ate. So she ate it, and then she slept. Kitsune had told the truth – it was only a sleeping spell.

 _In the forest, a ring of children holding hands laughed and sang some nursery rhyme as they ran. The forest was still young. Chihiro could almost see the leaves on the saplings growing as the children sang. The mountain rose up behind her, and beyond the forest was the village where many of the children came from._ Chihiro, even in the dream, was lucid enough to recognize the place, though it must have been thousands of years before the other dreams. _The littlest girl ran up to Chihiro and took her hand. “Oniisan!” she said with a wide smile, and pulled Chihiro up to the circle. “Play with us!” The other children bowed, but then lost their formality and they ran and played and laughed, even though they had to crane their necks to look up at her, she was one of them. They were friends. Friends._

_Then the sky darkened and it started to rain. The other children (human children, Chihiro realized) ran down the mountain with their arms over their heads, shrieking. They left Chihiro and the little girl alone on the mountainside. “Mommy,” the girl pouted, “we were playing!” A woman formed out of the rain and scooped up the girl into her arms. “The plants are thirsty,” she said. “Weren’t you thirsty, Aokigahara?” “I guess so,” admitted the girl, looking around at the little trees. “And if the plants are thirsty, then your friends won’t have anything to eat during the winter.” The woman took Chihiro’s (still young, Chihiro noticed) hand with her left hand, held Aokigahara in her right, and together they walked up the mountain._

Chihiro woke up. Aokigahara. She had heard that name somewhere before, perhaps in class? Then she realized that she had learned it by another name, that it was the name of the forest, and that the little girl was the spirit of that forest. And then she realized that she couldn’t stay in this room. She had to go talk to Fujisan. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't let anyone ever treat you badly. It doesn't matter who you are. You deserve better than that.


	13. Kitsune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Maybe your parents are they type to eat the food of the spirits and get turned into pigs. Or maybe they want to arrange a marriage for you. At least they mean well. Hey, sometimes it even works out.

Kamaji and Lin needed to go back to work. They would’ve been missed. It frustrated Haku that such mundane problems could get in the way of war, though if he was being honest with himself, he was more concerned with Chihiro’s safety than the outcome of the war. In the end, he was the one who could best cross the Gate. He followed the bathwater into the river, where the ship was busy ferrying its third load of passengers for the night into the spirit world. In this part of the world, the North Gate was the main entrance to the spirit world. Before the worlds fragmented, the worlds had overlapped, and a spirit could cross from one to the other at any location. Those days were long gone. These were Haku’s thoughts as he wove through the flow of emigrants into the Human World.

Once he was past the gate, he was alone. Lesser spirits could not assume physical forms in the human world, except as the object or animal they embodied. Only more powerful spirits, kami, were able to, and even then often chose not to.

Haku felt the breeze on his face. Remembering his encounter with the other wind sister, he held out his hand. This wind spirit was older and more cautious than the other one. It touched Haku’s hand, darted to his face, back to his hand, circled around. Haku stood patiently. It reminded Haku of the little silvery fish that lived in his river before… Haku stopped the thought. It was still too raw a memory, even after all these years.

“Sister wind,” Haku said. The wind blew into the treetops in fright, making the leaves rustle. “I won’t hurt you. I just need some help.”

The leaves rustled again to show that the wind was still there, listening.

“I need to know what happened to a dear friend of mine – a girl named Chihiro who was in Ueno Park earlier today, in Tokyo. Will you help?”

There was a strong wind and then the air was still. The wind had left. Whether it would return remained to be seen. Having done all he could, Haku sat down against the stone guardian statue, where eons ago it seemed, he had found Chihiro sitting there, asleep, to wait.

\---

Shika’s parents showed up to make sure he was properly dressed and on his best behavior about an hour before “dinner.” They had prepared a feast Yubaba would envy. Shika felt like he would be sick. It wasn’t even because there was nothing photosynthetic on the table. It was the sheer extravagance. This was precisely the reason he and his parents didn’t get along. He hated trying to impress people and playing host and guest. But still, he found himself in a formal green kimono and bowing as she came in the door. Her parents came in after her.

Even though Shika was feeling antagonistic toward the whole situation, he could not deny that she was beautiful. Shika felt like he had seen her somewhere before. He stared at her in confusion all throughout dinner, saying the right things at the right times to both sets of parents without having to think much about it. Was it something about her face? She did the opposite. She looked down at her food. Shika’s parents watched this in approval - their son was showing interest and the girl was properly modest – so after the meal, the parents decided to leave the two young people alone while they retired elsewhere to talk. By that point, all his antagonistic feelings had died away.

“Have we met before?” Shika asked, once they were alone. He had completely missed the introduction in the haze of trying to figure out who she was.

“I’m sorry,” she muttered, still refusing to look at him.

“For what?” he asked, confused.

She took a deep breath and looked straight at Shika. “I followed you and Chihiro in to the haze. I followed her after she left and put a spell in her friends’ drinks to get her away from the crowd and then I took her to _him._ ” All of the breath went out of her in an instant. “I didn’t know.

“What didn’t you know?” Shika asked coldly, now recognizing the color of her bright red hair.

“Everything,” she said. “I didn’t know what humans were like. I didn’t know they _cared._ I didn’t know that she would understand me. I didn’t know that he was planning to close the Gate. I never would’ve done it, if I’d known.”

Shika’s jaw dropped. “He’s planning what!” Then he glared at the girl again suspiciously. “Why are you telling me this?”

“I shouldn’t’ve overheard this at all, but he wants to sever the worlds completely. I might have wanted that fifty years ago, when they were cutting down my trees.” She shuddered. “I thought I would die for certain. But after I talked to Chihiro I checked, and they’ve been slowly planting them back. The little ones aren’t doing so well, since I’ve been absent... I can’t just leave them!”

Shika knew how easy it was for a forest spirit to talk tenderly and endlessly about each and every one of the trees and animals in his forest, from personal experience, and appreciated that she left off there.

“In that case,” Shika said. “Will you help me? You said you could talk to Chihiro.”

She nodded.

“Where is she being held?”

She whispered it to him. Shika blinked. Akuma had been right under their noses the entire time.

“Tell her to be prepared. We’ll send someone to go in and get her.”

“How can I get in touch with you?”

“I’ll meet you in the void. In the evenings.”

The voices of the parents in another part of the cave reminded them that they weren’t completely alone, and they had talked in low voices. Now the intonation of these voices told them that the parents were concluding their conversation. The girl stood up to leave as well.

“Wait,” Shika said, rising as well. “I don’t know your name.”

“Kitsune,” she said.

“I’m Shika,” Shika said.

“I know.”

\---       

Haku opened his eyes. The wind blew his hair into the air. The wind sister was back. A small rabbit was snuffling around his feet.

“Do you have news for me, sister wind?” Haku said. The wind blew harder knocking the little rabbit head over heels.

“Ow, Oneesannn,” the rabbit complained, rubbing its ear with its paw. Haku had to smile. It turned to Haku. “Oneesan says the girl left Oo-eno Park with another girl and a boy, and then went into the city and into a store. What’s a store?”

“It’s where humans go to exchange pieces of paper for stuff they need,” Haku explained.

“Who wants pieces of paper?” the rabbit asked. The wind blew again impatiently. “Fine, fine. And then the three of them went into another store, except the other Onesan said it was a trap in disguise. She said a red-haired lady built the trap right before the girls and the boy walked in. And then after a while the store disappeared and there were only the boy and the other girl lying on the ground.”

“And no one knows where the girl and the red-haired lady are now?”

“I guess so. Oneesan didn’t say.”

“Is that right, sister wind?” Haku asked. The wind made the grass bob as if nodding.

“Oneesan says yes,” the little rabbit said.

“Thank you, sister wind,” Haku said. “And thank you, too, little one,” he said, patting the rabbit on the head. “You’ve been a big help.” He stood up, bowed in thanks, and walked back through the Gate.

\---       

“She’s not what you think.”

“What are you trying to do?”

“They’re not all evil. _She’s_ not evil!”

“After what they did to you, Kitsune! Are you mad? After what they did to Jukai? Have you been brainwashed by Tenryu too!”

“Only because he’s right, Fujisan! He’s right, and if we let him close the gate, it’ll be a catastrophe!”

“How did you hear about that?”

“You can’t let him do this.”

“I can, and I will! Get out!”

“Talk to her. You’ll see!”

“OUT!”

Fujisan sat down and put his head in his hands. He had decided to hold Chihiro in his rooms to prove to Tenryu (and himself) that he was wrong. And yet, it seemed to him that Chihiro’s influence could even penetrate walls. _Maybe she really is…_

_No. Look at Jukai, reduced to... Look at the Onagawa reactor. Kohaku. Kitsune. Mother. Even Tenryu himself. No one survives unscathed. Some don’t survive at all. They are killers. They even do it to each other and themselves._

_But if I don’t, how can I say I gave her a fair chance? I’ll never be able to tell Tenryu he was wrong. And she’s right there…_ He looked over at the door that led to her cell. It was one layer of stone between them. All he had to do is push that door open…

And yet when he did, any powers she may or may not have had lay dormant. She was fast asleep. Fujisan stepped around her carefully. He couldn’t see anything special about her. She was dressed the way tourists on his slopes dressed. She was tall, for a girl, taller than most women, but when Fujisan finally circled around and saw her face it struck him how childlike it still was. He had watched so many children sleep. They always looked so innocent and vulnerable. They had trusted their parents to take care of them, and they had been betrayed. _They trusted_ me _to take care of them, and I betrayed them too._

Fujisan took one last look and returned to his study. He left the door open.


	14. I Loved Someone Once

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes a relationship just doesn't work out. It might not be anyone's fault. Things happen.

Chihiro was sure that Kitsune had closed the door before she had fallen asleep, but now the door was ajar. She stood up slowly – she was a little dizzy but otherwise unchanged – and peeked out through the crack in the door. A candle’s wavering light filled the walls and bookshelves with flickering shadows. Chihiro pushed the door open a little more, and then hesitated. There was a man sitting at the table, his back to her. He seemed to be reading something. It seemed like such a private moment that she didn’t want to intrude. He had long black hair that blended in with his robes in the low light, which flowed around his chair. When Chihiro looked more carefully, she saw that he was slumped over, head low. There were gray hairs among the black. He looked tired.

Chihiro stepped into the room as quietly as she could, trying not to disturb the man, but as she approached the middle of the room, he spoke.

“Come here,” he said.

She took a deep breath and walked toward the table. There was a mat set out opposite the man. She settled into it in the traditional position, and waited for the man to speak. There was a long silence.

Finally, he said, quietly: “Do you know who I am?”

“You’re Prince Fujisan,” Chihiro said. She waited for him to speak again, but he didn’t, so she continued, looking down at the table. “You’re the spirit of Mount Fuji. When you were young, you and your little sister would play on the mountainside with the children from the village. You sang and danced and you were happy. You loved the children and you loved your sister. But then there was a famine, and the families couldn’t take care of all of their children, so they left some of the younger ones, or the weaker ones, or the girls, in the forest on the mountain to die. You tried to take care of them the best you could, but there were too many, and…”

Chihiro paused. The man’s breath had become ragged. She looked up at him in concern, but he shook his head and motioned for her to continue.

“…and you had to put them to sleep. Later, people started committing suicide in the forest. People that you knew as children. People with families. You tried to stop them, but you couldn’t, and this hurt you very badly.”

Fujisan was crying now, silently. Tears fell from his face and splashed onto the table, but he made no move to wipe them.

“It made Jukai sick, didn’t it?” Chihiro asked.

Fujisan inclined his head once. “Very sick,” he said.

“I’m sorry about Jukai,” Chihiro said, “but please, you shouldn’t think that it’s your fault. You tried to take care of those kids. You tried to stop the suicides. But you can’t save all of them. It’s impossible. It’s not your fault.”

“Why do they do it?” Fujisan asked quietly, shakily.

Chihiro didn’t know what to say.

Fujisan visibly pulled himself together, and in a steadier voice, said: “I understand about the kids. Sacrifice the few for the good of the all. I don’t agree with it, but I can understand survival. But how can you take your own life? How can humans kill themselves when there are so many people who love them?”

Chihiro sighed. “Some of them are sick,” she said. “Some of them don’t believe that there are people who love them. They believe that they are worthless, or that dying would be better than living. To many people, love isn’t enough anymore. Having enough to eat isn’t enough. They want money, possessions, beauty. They want respect, and people don’t respect you for having a loving family and friends.” She remembered the little mountain village that Risuni’s grandparents lived in, and the people who lived there. “Humans aren’t meant to live this way. We just need a little community and to be useful to that community to be happy. That should be enough, but most people don’t believe that anymore.”

“But how could they hurt Jukai like that? How could they hurt me?”

“I don’t think they were thinking about that. They didn’t do it to hurt you. It was just, your mountain was nearby, and no one would see them in the middle of the forest. No one would try to stop them. And maybe they trusted you with their last moments.”

“So to protect myself, I should cut myself off from the humans? Since they tend to hurt whatever is nearby.”

“Being nearby is also what made you love them, and what gave them the chance to love you. Loving is what gives them the ability to hurt you. If you don’t want to be hurt, you can’t ever love.”

“How do you know all this?”

Chihiro couldn’t answer that. She didn’t know, herself.

“So that’s why Tenryu spoke so highly of you,” Fujisan said, after he had digested what Chihiro had told him for a while. “Even though you’re so young.”

“I loved someone as young as you once,” Fujisan added. “You remind me of her.”

“What happened?” Chihiro asked.

“She married a carpenter and had beautiful children and grandchildren that I was blessed to know,” Fujisan said.

\---

Shika walked out of the cave and into the mist. Dragons had the freedom of the skies, but his freedom was greater, in its way, though you didn’t get to appreciate the view along the way. On the other side of the mist was the bridge to the bathhouse. The bridge was deserted, as it usually was in the middle of the day. Even the guards would be asleep at this time. Shika strolled across and casually let himself through the small partition opening on the left into the side courtyard. From there, he walked around the building and let himself down the back stairs rather more gracefully than Chihiro had many years ago. When he finally entered the boiler room, he found it deserted except for a sleeping Kamaji. Where had everyone gone?

The sootballs soon came out to play. They never seemed to sleep, and were excited to see a new face. Shika didn’t sit on the step amongst them long when there was a strong wind and a scraping sound coming from outside. The wind blew the sootballs against the wall, and the drifted down, dazed, and then raced back into their holes at the foot of the wall.

Haku came striding in.

“A red-haired female spirit trapped her,” he said when he saw Shika.

“Her name is Kitsune,” Shika said.

Haku stared at him. “Do you know her?”

“I do now,” Shika said wryly. “My parents tried to set us up.” Seeing Haku’s shocked look, Shika said: “Why don’t you sit down.” As he did, the sootballs peeked out of their holes again, and when they saw it was only Haku, they came out and milled around their feet. Shika told him everything that had happened in the last day, quietly, so as to let Kamaji sleep. He tried to convince Haku that Kitsune could be believed, but Haku was still suspicious.

“What if she’s just trying to get us to lower our guard,” Haku said, “thinking that Chihiro has a friend in that forsaken place?”

“What would she gain by doing that?”

“You said she’s a forest spirit. If she has a grudge against the humans, and she’s working for her master, what would she lose?”

Shika had to admit that Haku had a point.


	15. Akuma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are so many things about this world that we have no idea about.

Shika stood in the mist. He was lost. He had never tried to find anyone else in the mist before. He had never seen anyone else in the mist before Kitsune followed them into it. He had never even heard of anyone else using it. But she had been travelling through it a long time, just like him. It occurred to him that there could be infinitely many people behind the clouds and he would never know. He had tried walking around in it, but inevitably emerged into his forest in the mountains after a few steps. So now he just stood there. The mist seemed to close in on him. What had seemed obvious just a few days ago was now unknowable. The whiteness was identical on all sides, except...

A red dot appeared in the distance.

Kitsune? Shika thought, striding toward it. The next moment, they almost ran each other over.

“What’s going on?” Shika demanded. “Where did you come from? What else don’t I know about this place?”

“I have a theory,” Kitsune said. “Want to hear it?”

“What is it?”

“I don’t think this place really exists. At least, not when no one is in here,” Kitsune said. “Every time we enter it, we call it into existence. A separate one for each of us. When we’re here, we’re disconnected from reality, like a soap bubble that’s just floating in the air. We call to the place that we want to go with our minds, and the mist connects to that place again.”

“So as long as there’s a consciousness in the mist, it’s a real place and we can get to it,” Shika said.

“I think so,” Kitsune said. “I’m guessing that’s what happened just now. It seemed like you were a long distance away when I first saw you, but I don’t think these...bubbles of space have any real sense of size. So as soon as we connected, there was no distance between us at all.”

“But how did I see you, if these bubbles weren’t connected?”

“When I thought of you, they touched and I could see you. That’s what calling is, it’s just the thought of the place.”

“What about other people?” Shika wondered. “Can they get into the mist on their own? Does the mist exist for them if they’re alone?”

“I have no idea,” Kitsune said. “How would we ever find out? No one would ever risk his life like that.”

“Maybe no spirit would,” Shika said. “Humans, though, with their fleeting lives must know something that we don’t. Speaking of humans, we’ve wasted enough time in here already. I came to give you this, to pass on to Chihiro.” He pulled out a large white scale and handed it to Kitsune.

“Time doesn’t pass while we’re in here,” she said, taking the scale and examining it. “Only when we’re connected to the real world and coming and going. I used to hide here and play by myself when I was little.”

“But when you leave, don’t you always end up across the border?” Shika asked.

“Of course, it’s always easier to go home. You can’t help it. But when I first started, there _was_ no border.”

\---

The quiet night air of the swamp was interrupted by a loud splash and the shrieks of birds as they exploded from the trees. Zeniiba rushed out of the house. Haku stood there, dripping wet. He looked different. His hair was longer. He stood taller. And he was patiently apologizing to the flock of crows scolding him about a giant white snake jumping out of the water to eat their eggs.

“What happened, Haku? What are you doing here?” Zeniiba asked as the birds settled down. Haku’s face darkened.

“ _He_ has Chihiro,” Haku said. “They picked her out of the crowd in Tokyo. I need to get in touch with her.”

“It’s too risky,” Zeniiba said. “Opening a window straight into Akuma’s domain.”

“It’s riskier not to,” Haku said. “We have a contact in his palace who’s offering to help us. We’re not sure yet we can trust her, but we’ve gave her one of my scales to pass on to Chihiro. We still need to know where she is.”

“You know we’ve been trying to find where he’s been hiding since the beginning of the war, and we haven’t detected a thing.”

“This might be our only chance to find out.”

“If he discovers us, then it would all be for nothing. Everything we’ve done.”

“Everything is in place already. Even if he detects us, he’ll need time to respond. We’ll go in, get Chihiro out of there, and get her straight into the throne room if possible.”

“We can’t plan for that. We don’t have any idea where we’d be getting her out from. We have no idea what kind of defenses he’s put up.”

“Then let’s pull out all the stops. Everything we have. I don’t care what it takes. I refuse to leave her there any longer than absolutely necessary.”

Zeniiba looked at Haku thoughtfully for a moment, and then motioned to him. “Come in, then, I suppose. No need to do it out here in the cold.”

\---

A shaft of light fell across Chihiro’s face, waking her. Kitsune quietly closed the door, shutting them in the darkness. She whispered a spell and a ball of light appear in her cupped hands. She saw that Chihiro was awake. She knelt down by the thin mat that was Chihiro’s bed in her cell, and pulled out the pearly white scale.

“This is from Shika,” she whispered, handing it to Chihiro. “They’re coming to get you.”

“Shika, you talked to him? Is he alright?” Chihiro whispered back. She sat up and took the scale with both hands, feeling the smooth surface. _This must be Haku’s_ , she thought.

_Yes,_ Haku’s voice said inside her head. _We’re here. Zeniiba and I are here. We hear you. We see you. Don’t worry._

“He’s fine,” Kitsune said. “Don’t you ever worry about yourself?”

Chihiro smiled. She wasn’t alone. “But so many people worry about me already,” she said. “Like you, Kitsune. You didn’t have to do this for me, but you did. Thank you.”

Kitsune took her hand and squeezed it. “Thank _you._ For understanding.”

Footsteps rang out in the hallway. Voices. Kitsune’s eyes widened in alarm.

“Get out of here!” Chihiro mouthed to her.

_What is it?_ Haku asked. _What’s the matter?_

“Worry about yourself!” Kitsune whispered back. “Pretend to be asleep.”

_Footsteps outside. Someone’s coming,_ Chihiro said to Haku.

“What do you want?” Fujisan’s voice said as the footsteps got closer.

“Sorry you to disturb your rest, your highness,” deep voices answered. “Master requests the girl’s presence.”

The mist rose up around them and Chihiro turned to see a red fox disappearing into it, and then hurriedly closed her eyes and stuffed the scale into a pocket. She took a deep breath, willing her heartbeat to slow.

“What does he need her for?”

“We don’t know, sir. Just following orders. He says you’re welcome to join him, sir, if you’d like.”

The door swung open. Two oni entered, with Fujisan looking in right behind them. One of them stooped down to pick up Chihiro, who fought to stay limp, and carried her down the hallway. Fujisan followed them, looking worried.

_That traitor!_ Haku growled, seeing Fujisan. _He_ knows _the worlds need each other to survive._

_He’s been through a lot, you know._ Chihiro replied. _I don’t blame him._

_What!_

_He’s just trying to protect someone he loves,_ Chihiro said. _Just like Shika. Just like you._

_What do you mean?_

_Shika’s doing this for the villagers. For Risuni’s family. For little Koji._ She didn’t realize that Haku had heard the last part as well, and he didn’t insist she explain.

_Do you know where they’re keeping you?_ Haku asked.

_No idea. There haven’t been any windows that I’ve seen._

They carried her up flights upon flights of stairs. The oni never seemed to tire. Finally, they stopped outside a door with two more oni standing guard. The guards saw that they were carrying Chihiro, bowed, and waved them through. The door closed behind them.

After the light of the hallways, it was like looking into the void. Fujisan, Chihiro, and the oni all disappeared. The back wall was open and billions of stars shone through in perfect darkness. Haku found his eyes drawn to a shadow near the middle of the room, pulsing with darkness like a black hole, blocking out the light of the stars behind it. He imagined light being sucked in, unable to escape. The shape got bigger until it filled the window. Then it opened its eyes. He had no irises. His eyes were completely white but for two tiny black pupils. He was looking straight at them.

“Begone, snake!” Akuma said.

The window splintered.


	16. Global Matters

Haku helped Zeniiba up off the floor. The window had shattered, then exploded, knocking both of them off their feet.

_Chihiro, are you okay?_ Haku thought. That connection, thankfully, was unaffected.

_Yes. What happened?_

_He broke the spell. We can’t see you anymore. But he doesn’t seem to know about the scale. Keep it hidden!_

He turned to Zeniiba and swore. “Damn. How could he see us?”

“I underestimated him,” Zeniiba muttered as she limped to the nearest chair, leaning heavily on Haku’s arm. “Well, we’re all in now. We need to move.”

“So we know where they are?”

“Yes. He’s been hiding in his father’s shadow this whole time,” Zeniiba said. “Did you recognize the stars we saw right before he cut us off?”

“They’re the same stars that are outside right now,” Haku said. “Just brighter.”

“Exactly. There were no clouds blocking the view. And did you notice that you couldn’t see the moon.”

“I see,” Haku said. “You meant that literally. Hiding in his father’s shadow. Fitting. That makes it difficult for us.”

“Maybe impossible. Humans have survived the fall from the moon before. There are stories. But inevitably they’ve had some spirit blood in them. Chihiro has none.”

\---

_Yes. What happened?_

_He broke the spell. We can’t see you anymore. But he doesn’t seem to know about the scale. Keep it hidden!_

“Stop feigning sleep, girl,” Akuma said. His voice sounded almost kind. “Put her down,” he ordered, as Chihiro opened her eyes and stood up. “Don’t be afraid. I only wanted to dine with you. I had hoped that you would come as well, your highness. ”

Chihiro followed speechlessly as the dark silhouette led them to an adjoined room, where a huge table was set for three. She felt Fujisan’s presence behind her, and heard the quiet swish of his robes as he walked. They seated themselves. Women came in with basins and cloths for them to wash, and then with richly dressed meats of all kinds. Fish the length of Chihiro’s leg, sliced ham, chicken, all dripping with sauce. As a finale, four oni carried in an entire roast deer. Chihiro thought of Shika and felt bile rising in the back of her throat.

“Food of the spirits,” Akuma said, piling meats onto her plate. “Most humans would die for a taste of this.” He looked more normal in a brightly lit room. His hair and clothes still seemed to swallow any light unfortunate enough to hit it, but at least they were recognizable as hair and clothes. His face and hands were as pale as Haku’s. It was his eyes that were just as disconcerting as ever, and made it difficult to look up.

“I’m not hungry,” she said softly.

“But you must eat,” Akuma said. “I had it prepared especially for you.” He looked at Fujisan, who also looked slightly uncomfortable, but didn’t say anything. He smiled. “My prince,” he said, “who’d have thought that you would have pity for a human girl, after all you and Jukai have been through.

“You can’t blame us,” he continued. “Chihiro, was it? You can’t blame us for wanting to cut off from the human world. Look at everything you’ve done to the planet. Cutting down forests, choking creatures with your trash, even the air and weather is at your whim. _You_ are the next mass extinction. We’re only trying to protect ourselves.

“Which reminds me, Fujisan, you had better bring Jukai in. It won’t be long before we close the gates. We have to bring as many in as we can before then.”

“Already?” Fujisan asked in surprise. He had peeled off the skin from a fish and was delicately picking out the pin bones from the white flesh. “This is way ahead of schedule. Why?”

“Here’s your answer, your highness,” Akuma said, gesturing graciously to Chihiro. “They’ve brought a human here. I’m so sorry to hold you here like this, dear,” he said as an aside to Chihiro, “but we absolutely cannot let them join the worlds together again. Ever since the worlds split, the Spirit World has been a sanctuary for us. The Gates were designed to regulate the traffic and to keep the humans from destroying both worlds. You came here the first time out of ignorance. We can’t blame you for that, but Gate is supposed to prevent you from coming back. And yet Zeniiba has deliberately brought you here again. It threatens all of us who live here.” He stared at the silent Chihiro who had not touched her plate. “Tenryu tells us that you understand everything, and yet now you say nothing. Was he wrong, then?”

Fujisan whispered to one of the women, who took Chihiro’s untouched plate and returned with a bowl of light tofu soup. Chihiro looked up at Fujisan gratefully and picked up her spoon.

\---

Zeniiba materialized inside Yubaba’s office.

“Granny!” Boh exclaimed. He had grown again since Zeniiba had seen him last.

“It’s good to see you, Boh. Is your mother home?”

Boh waddled into the hallway. A minute later, Yubaba all but flew into the room.

“What’s wrong, baby?” she cried in alarm. Then she caught sight of Zeniiba. “What are you doing here? Get out! Leave my baby alone!”

“No, Mama,” Boh assured her. “Granny Zeniiba just wanted to talk to you.”

“About what?” Yubaba said suspiciously.

“Boh, why don’t you go play? Your mother and I need to have a long chat.”

Yubaba was annoyed, but she kissed Boh and waved him off to the nursery. As soon as he was out of earshot, she turned and glared at Zeniiba. “All right,” she said. “What do you want?”

“I want the same thing I’ve wanted all along. The thing that Mother and Father always wanted.”

“I’ve told you I’m not going to join your crazy cause. I’m not insane enough to want to take on a _god_. It’s bad for business.”

“What if I tell you that he’s got Chihiro locked up in his palace? Even if you don’t want to admit you feel affection for the girl, she’s Boh’s friend. And what about Boh? Are you ever going to let him grow up? He’s got enough human blood in him that he needs access to both worlds, or he’ll end up like us. Look what you’ve done to him already.”

“I’m his _mother._ How I raise him is none of your business.”

“Come, little sister,” Zeniiba sighed, “let go of your stupid pride. The spirit world _needs_ you. _I_ need you. I can’t do this on my own.”

“Tried to face him one on one, did you? _Now_ you say you need me, when this whole time… Well, I say _no._ You’ve always gotten everything. People respect you, even though you shut yourself in that dinky little house in the middle of nowhere. You’re older. You have more power. Even Father liked you more. You’re not getting me, too. Do you see anyone out there respecting me? NO! They all think I’m running a whorehouse and it’s beneath them. Even when Haku was here in plain sight, they didn’t bother looking here. Because the prince couldn’t _possibly_ stoop this low…”

“I respect you, sister,” Zeniiba said. “I know what you’re doing for your workers, and they appreciate you for it.”

“I don’t want your pity,” Yubaba said, walking away toward her desk. A small silver object floated over to Zeniiba. On one end was carved the word ‘Yubaba.’ “Just take it and go. Tell Chihiro she owes Boh a playdate.”

“This isn’t what I came for. I want you to be there,” Zeniiba protested.

“I don’t care. You’re not getting me.”

Zeniiba shook her head and pocketed the seal. “If you change your mind, you know who to talk to,” she said, but Yubaba had her back turned and refused to reply. “Thank you then, sister.” Zeniiba said, and left.

\---

Lin waved at the dragon shooting through the air toward her. “Haku!” she shouted.

Haku hit the boiler room landing and transformed at a run. “Lin,” he said. “Don’t shout. Is everyone here?”

“They’re all waiting inside,” Lin said. “Where’s Zeniiba?”

“Upstairs.”

“Upstairs!” They burst into the boiler room. Kamaji occupied his usual space at his station in front of the fire. Shika stood in the middle of the room with Risuni. Tenryu sat on the ledge surrounded by sootballs. There were others present that Haku had only heard of, and never met: spirits from all over the world. There was a well-muscled brown-skinned man with high cheekbones and feathers in his hair, a woman in a slinky green gown petting a jaguar, a pale, skeletally thin woman with dark hair cropped close to her scalp, and a man in blue who looked much like he was related to Haku. Including Shika, six in all. They’d been carefully guarding the Gates in each place and protecting the nearby human communities, the ones more spiritually aware than others. The ones with spirit blood.

Haku turned to Shika. “You brought Risuni?” he said.

Risuni cut in. “The humans have a stake in this too, Haku. It’s not just a Spirit World matter. There should be a human representative here. It’s our war, too.”

“Yes,” Haku said after a moment's thought. “You’re right. But we don’t have time to get someone from every family here. Let me tell you all about the plan.”

“Wait,” the woman in green interrupted. Her tongue was forked. “I want to know: who is this girl we are risking our lives for?”

“Yes, I want to know as well,” said the man in blue. “She is not one of the families, is she?”

“ _I_ want to know, Prince Kohaku, when you got so interested in this matter,” the jaguar said in a deep voice. “I know that Zeniiba has always had confidence in you, but you’ve never shown much interested before.”

Haku growled in frustration, but Shika shrugged. “That’s what you get for not being involved from the beginning,” he commented. “If you’re going to agree to let us try to put you on the throne, and let’s be honest,” he added, seeing the look on Haku’s face, “you don’t like the idea of Fujisan on the throne at this point, you’ll have to explain this to the populace eventually. You might as well get the practice in now.”

Risuni smiled at him encouragingly. “Don’t worry,” she mouthed. “Just tell the truth, and they’ll understand.”


	17. Forgiveness

The cherry trees filled the smoking air with their perfume and delicate pink petals. The volcanic ash and the petals fell to the ground together, forming soft layers of beginnings and endings underfoot, muffling Fujisan’s footsteps. The ground trembled with emotion, and birds fled from the trees in alarm.

Fujisan placed a hand on a nearby boulder. _I’m back_ , he thought to calm it. _I’m home._ He didn’t mention that he didn’t plan to stay. The mountain was his child, and he was a monster for abandoning it just like so many families had abandoned their children on his slopes. But they had their reasons. They had their other children to think of. He had Jukai. You do what you need to so your loved ones can live. So he comforted his mountain wordlessly, lying from the bottom of his soul that it would be okay. He would never leave. He would always take care of the mountain.

Aokigahara was lush as she always was at this time of year, despite the ash clinging to the already dark green leaves. Recently, the humans had started putting up signs next to the trail reminding people that life is precious, to try to prevent the suicides. Still, here and there bouquets of flowers were left on the ground next to a marker by a bereaved family member. The small shrine dedicated to Jukai was full of flowers too. Even after all this time, they still believed that she watched over them, the ones that were lost. _Didn’t they ever think,_ Fujisan thought angrily, _what it would do to her mental state to watch suicides day after day, year after year?_

He came to the clearing where the village used to be, where the children Jukai had played with had lived. The village had been deserted long ago, but the ruins remained. The woman Fujisan had loved was buried here, along with her husband and children. He sometimes visited and sat by the grave and talk to her. On this day, he stopped there, _to say goodbye,_ he thought.

To his surprise, there was someone there before him: a young man holding some flowers. They stared at each other, both speechless, both scared.

“Who are you?” Fujisan finally growled.

The boy gestured to the grave. “My many times great grandmother is buried here,” he said.

“This grave?” Fujisan asked. The boy nodded. “But she died over a thousand years ago!”

“You knew her, then?” the boy asked. He said this as if it could possibly be true. Fujisan didn’t reply. “There is a story passed down through my family about her,” the boy explained. “It goes that she knew a spirit that lived on this mountain who watched over her when she was a kid, and they were good friends.”

Fujisan glanced down at the grave. The corner of his mouth twitched in nostalgic amusement. _So,_ he thought, _you continue to push me to realize things about myself I never would have known, even now when you are gone. If you can talk to me from beyond the grave, where have you been this whole time?_

The boy watched this silent exchange with wide eyes. When Fujisan finally looked back up at him, he said, “You must be Fujisan.”

“And you are Akari’s child,” Fujisan said. “What do you want from me?”

“I didn’t expect to actually meet you,” the boy confessed, setting the flowers down on the grave. “I just came here to pay my respects. From the stories, she seems like such an amazing person. I hoped to learn more about her by coming here, and I wanted to see if you were real.”

“In that respect, you are lucky. I show myself to very few humans now. You caught me by surprise.”

“The stories say that you have a sister. Jukai, right? Could I meet her, too?”

Fujisan was silent for a long time, looking at Akari’s grave. He stood there so long that the boy started to apologize.

“No,” Fujisan said. “Don’t be sorry. Yes, yes, come meet her. Akari meant a lot to her, too. She wouldn’t want me to keep this to myself.”

The boy gathered up a backpack, water bottle, and notebook, and followed his new companion as he continued down the path. As they walked, Fujisan told him about Aokigahara and what had happened since the villagers had left. In turn, the boy told Fujisan what had become of his family. They were scattered all over the world, especially in America, doing all manner of things. He said that he was working as a museum curator, studying ancient Japanese artifacts and writing down their stories. He held up his notebook.

“I’ll be writing down everything you tell me in here tonight,” he said, “to use as inspiration when I write descriptions at the museum. Pity no one will believe me if I tell them what really happens.” He shrugged ruefully. “It’s unfortunate that to be a scientist nowadays you’re not allowed to believe in any of this yourself. You have to write things like, “People back then believed,” like what they believed can’t possibly be true. It takes away from the authenticity of the story. But I still think that if my writing is good enough, the truth in the stories will speak to them.”

“I hope so,” Fujisan said. _Too bad it’s too late_ , he thought. _The Gates will close soon, and then even if the humans regain their spirituality, it won’t fix anything._

The entrance to Jukai’s home was a small cave where a stream once flowed into the ground. Now, all that was left was a dried-up streambed, filled with dead leaves and other debris. Fujisan shook his head as they crossed the cave mouth. The stream had been one of the tributaries of the Kohaku River. It had carved out the cave where Jukai lived even before little Kohaku had gained consciousness, and it had dried up with the river.

Past the first cave, there was a room with a stone table and elegantly carved chairs. Bright, beaded curtains lent some color to the walls. An old woman bowed as they entered, and led them to the table.

“How is Jukai doing, grandmother?” Fujisan asked her in a low voice.

“Not so well,” she said sadly. “She felt your leaving, and it frightened her. It’ll do her good to see you.”

“Wait here,” Fujisan told the boy. “Look around and remember, so you can tell the humans what you have seen here today. Very few spirits dwell on this side of the barrier now.” He left the boy there and walked to where one of the curtains hung in a doorway. He lifted the curtain with a quiet tinkling of the beads, and went in.

The boy looked around. The old woman was walking toward him with a tray of tea. “Are you a spirit, too, grandmother?” he asked.

“No, dear,” she said. “I’m completely human. I’m a miko, see. Been one my whole life. I used to tend the shrine back there on the path, and then one day I found a girl there, crying. It was Jukai, of course, but I didn’t know that at the time. I comforted her best I could. I thought she was the family of someone who committed suicide out there. You see them from time to time. Then Fujisan showed up and asked me if I would take care of her. I’d already pledged my life to serving her, and she obviously needed me, so I said yes.”

\---

Fujisan entered Jukai’s bedchamber. She lay there on the bed, her eyes open and red from crying, staring up at the ceiling, not seeing anything. He walked toward her, and as he did, her eyes seemed to focus on him, and she smiled a little at the sight.

“There was another one yesterday,” she said.

“Let’s think of something else for the moment,” Fujisan coaxed. “I brought you a visitor. One of Akari’s children came back to see us.” She smiled. “Let me help you get up out of that bed,” he said. He bent down and gently placed her arms around his neck, and with one arm under her legs, the other one supporting her back, lifted her up.

As she held him, she said: “I’m glad you’re back. I thought you’d left for good.”

“Don’t worry,” he said. “I’m not going to leave you.” He carried Jukai to her chair and settled her in it. He took her robe from where it hung from a hook on the wall and draped it about her shoulders. She looked healthy, if you didn’t know her. Her body was a representation of her forest, and the forest itself was doing well. It had been a good year, with enough sunlight and rain, and the humans valued the forest enough to leave it standing. But her black hair was missing big chunks, like it had been hacked off irregularly. Fujisan took a brush from the top of the vanity and ran it through her hair. As he did, the hair grew out, until it was long and shining.

“There,” he said. “That’s better. I should come see you more often. Is granny taking good care of you?”

“Yes,” Jukai said, “of course she is. I’m sorry I’m not stronger.”

Fujisan offered her his arm. She held it, leaning on it for support, and slowly they walked back toward the main room. As they pushed aside the curtain, the boy looked shocked. Jukai was much weaker than he had imagined, and she looked about his age. He got up and offered her his arm as well, and together, they brought her to her seat.

“He came here to learn more about Akari,” Fujisan said, sitting down next to Jukai, “and to learn if we were real. An admirable leap of faith in this day and age for someone from the city.”

Jukai smiled at him. “Akari was one of my best friends,” she said. “I’m glad the family still remembers her.”

“How can we not?” the boy said, smiling back. “The family loves stories, and there are so many good ones about her.”

“I’m sure there are,” Jukai laughed. “We were such mischievous children and we had such fun! If it’s stories you’re looking for, Fujisan has many he could tell you. But I have one here that even he doesn’t know. Let me tell it to you.

 “When Akari was young, Fujisan here fell in love with her. She loved him back, as I’m sure you knew already. And I’m sure he’s already told you why they didn’t get married…”

“Wait,” the boy interrupted. “I actually don’t know. Fujisan hasn’t mentioned…”

“If you’re really going to tell him this, Jukai, I should leave,” Fujisan interrupted irritably.

“No,” Jukai said. “You need to hear this more than him. I should’ve told you this long ago.”

“I _lived_ this story. I know everything I need to know about it.”

“That’s what you think,” Jukai said sternly. “You’ve lived through the story, and you can live through the retelling of it.” She looked at the boy. “Do you know about Akari’s sister?”

“I know that she had a sister, but no one ever talks about her.”

“That’s because she died when she was young,” Jukai said. “When Akari was seven and her sister was three, there was a severe famine. There wasn’t enough food for all of them, Akari’s parents brought their younger daughter up the mountain and left her there, and prayed that Fujisan would find her and take care of her. And they weren’t the first ones to do such a thing. There were too many. There was nothing for us to do but let them rest in peace.

“Still, when the time came for Akari to be married, Fujisan couldn’t bring himself to ask for her hand, even though she was more than willing and her family would’ve approved. It wasn’t because he is a spirit and she was a human. It was because his guilt prevented it. The memory of her sister prevented it, and it haunts him even now.”

Fujisan made to get up and leave, but Jukai stopped him with a hand on his arm. She held his gaze.

“She waited for him for a long time, by those days’ standards. When she finally got married, to another one of the children we had played with, Fujisan had a tough time. They stayed friends, but especially during the special days in her life – when she got married, when she had children – those were difficult times for Fujisan. When she had her first child, Fujisan stayed away for almost a year. It was hard for her, too.

“One day, during one of his absences, I went with her gathering kindling on the mountain,” she looked at Fujisan before continuing. “She told me this. ‘I know that Fujisan was with my sister in her last moments, all those years ago. My parents don’t know this, but I hid in a tree and I watched him lead her away. Maybe I should have stopped them. I don’t know. I know he blames himself for that still, but I’m glad that he was there. Even if he’s not ready to forgive himself yet, please… even if he never sees me again, please let him know that I forgive him.’”


	18. Dried Worm Salts

After the meal, one of the serving women led Chihiro through the maze-like stone halls to a large guest bedroom. Chihiro tried to get the woman to explain what was happening, but she ignored all attempts at conversation. She simply shooed Chihiro inside and closed the door behind her. The room itself was luxuriously furnished and imposing, with high stone walls and a marble floor, covered with a tiger skin rug. The furniture – a huge canopied bed, wardrobe, hat stand, desk, chair, and bookshelves - were dark mahogany. There were no windows. An elaborate chandelier hung from the ceiling.

Chihiro shuddered at the sight of the tiger skin rug. She didn’t want to touch it. It reminded her of the whole roast deer on the platter. She had no problem eating meat when she was at home in the human world, but here, after seeing animals change into human form, it felt like cannibalism. She edged around it to look at the bookshelf. There were books spanning the ages, in a myriad of languages, many she didn’t recognize. Time meant little to spirits, she realized, for every book here looked new, no matter its age. Then a slim pair of burgundy leather-bound books caught her eye: _Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland_ and _Through the Looking Glass_ in their original editions. She must be looking at a fortune in first editions. Chihiro ran her finger along the spine of _Alice._ She could count the days since she last wrote about these books in her diary, and now she had fallen into a wonderland of her own.

Someone knocked at the door.

“Come in,” Chihiro said cautiously.

The door opened. It was Kitsune, holding a bundle of clothes and a large towel and looking nervous. She smiled in relief when she saw Chihiro.

“I brought you bathing things, if you’d like a bath,” Kitsune said.

The last time Chihiro had washed properly was that night in the spring behind Zeniiba’s house. “A bath sounds wonderful,” she said.

Kitsune opened a small wooden door into an adjoining room. A rectangular bath was sunk into the floor. In the corner there was a small wood-burning boiler and a stack of kindling. Kitsune started the fire and fed the logs into it. After a little while, hot water began flowing into the tub from the hidden pipes embedded in the floor. She placed the towel and clothes on a small wooden stool, and pulled a small paper package from her pocket. “Herbs for the water,” she explained as she tipped the contents into the tub. The water turned cloudy and became tinged with green. “I’ll wait in the bedroom if you need anything.”

The water stopped flowing on its own when the tub was full. Chihiro dipped a toe in the water. It was deliciously warm. She got in and lay back, letting the herb-infused steam envelop her. Something nagged at the back of her mind. The smell was familiar.

\---

“It seems like I have no choice,” Haku said. “Alright. What do you want to know?”

“Why don’t you first tell us about this girl,” suggested the skeletally thin woman in a hoarse voice.

“Oh, god,” Haku said, “how do I start?” Slowly and hesitantly, he began.

 “I met her when she was very young. She fell into my river. I guess… you could say she woke me up, because I wasn’t conscious of making the decision to carry her back to shore. Yet the next moment I had, and it’s a good thing I did, or I might not be here today.”

“You all know what happened next. You were there. I… still can’t remember what happened exactly. I only know what people told me later. The humans filled in my river. I showed up here completely unrecognizable. Kamaji found me and nursed me back to full health, at least physically. Mentally, I… didn’t remember anything. I had become a younger version of myself. I apprenticed myself to Yubaba. When Chihiro and her parents wandered into the Spirit World, that’s the state that she found me in.”

“For some reason I still can’t name, I recognized her. Even though she was older, even though I remembered nothing else of my past, I _knew_ her. And somehow, she remembered me.” Haku stopped. That feeling he had when he saw recognition in her eyes filled him again. Something was surfacing, welling up from deep within, like a memory; a powerful, nameless something. With difficulty, he continued. “She recognized something in me. Even in my dragon shape, she knew me. When I was dying she gave me the only thing she had. When I was a thief and she still saw good in me, and then risked her life to go apologize and beg Zeniiba to save my life. When no one at the bathhouse had any idea who I was, a human girl remembered my name.”

“You asked me why I got interested in this matter. It’s because she got involved. She remembers nothing of the spirit world but still understands what it’s like to be a victim of the barrier and wants to do what she can to take it down. Aside from wanting to protect her, just looking at someone like that risk so much, how could I do less?”

“This is all very well and good, my prince,” the snake woman said softly. “I think we’ve all experienced that at some point. But what if becoming the king meant you would never see her again? It is a very real possibility. Rescuing her is important for the cause, yes, but there are other paths we can take to accomplish what we’ve set out to do. We need your word that even when she’s safe, you’ll follow through and take the throne.”

 _Never see her again. I waited so long to see her again, and to give that up for…_ Haku’s breath came up short. In his mind’s eye, he watched as someone pried open his chest and took out his still beating heart, holding it out for them all to see. He stared at it. _It’s such a small thing, a heart, yet so much depends on it. It beats so powerfully, but pierce it with a knife and…_ To his surprise, the hand holding out his heart was his own. _Go on, pierce it. Could you hurt me more than I’m hurting myself?_ He looked up at the others.

“Yes,” he said. His hands shook. He hid them in his sleeves. “I’ll do it. Because I need you all to make sure the barrier comes down. Besides,” he said, trying to convince himself as well as the others, trying to sound collected, “if the worlds sever completely, I won’t be seeing her anymore anyway.” In his mind, his father’s voice echoed. _“So you are dissatisfied with the way things are. What are you going to do about it?” “The king’s opinion counts for little. Such is the burden of the arbiter.” “You are not as powerless as your brother seems to think.”_

 _“When the time comes, you will have the power to choose,” Zeniiba said._ _“You will have to do what you think is right.”_ _Did I choose right?_ Haku wondered. _How did I end up here? This isn’t what I wanted at all. I just wanted… to see her._

 ---

_“Yuck, what’s in this water?”_

_“Dried worm salts. It’s supposed to be good for you.”_

The pain was mild at first, building up slowly, not slamming into her the way they had other times when her memories had triggered. Yet it was familiar enough that she recognized the feeling. One voice she recognized as her own, the same voice that was in the home videos her parents had of her when she was little. The other voice was that of a woman, maybe a little older than Chihiro was now.

The pain was still bearable. Chihiro closed her eyes and tried to relax and take in the smell. She wanted to see where else her memory could take her. The sound of rushing water filled her mind, though the detached part of her consciousness knew that the bath water was still.

 _“Yank it again when the bath is full. It’ll stop,” the woman continued._ _“…You can let go of the rope now. I’ll go get us some breakfast.”_

The image of the woman appeared faintly against the darkness of Chihiro’s eyelids. She was tall, with long brown hair tied back loosely.

_“Okay!” young Chihiro called._

Briefly, she could feel the rough surface of the rope against her palms. The pain in the head flared up. Chihiro opened her eyes. The image faded. She held her breath, clearing the smell from her head, and the pain faded away. She started scrubbing herself clean. Whatever doubts she’d had that she’d been in the Spirit World before fell away. She had known people here. The woman’s voice had been kind. She was angry. She had made _friends_ here, and the spell on the Gate had taken that away from her. No one had the right to do that.


	19. Jabberwocky

_And, as in uffish thought he stood,_

_The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,_

_Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,_

_And burbled as it came._

Fujisan stood bowed low before the king in the underwater garden. The king, flanked by his guards, had been taking a walk.

“Father,” he said.

“My son, Prince Fuji no Takane,” said the king. “I hear you.”

“Father, it’s your daughter Aokigahara. Please, she refuses to leave the human world.” The king said nothing. He looked at his eldest son steadily with no change of expression, waiting for him to continue. Fujisan, seeing no response, panicked. “Please, Father, you have to make her come back! She’s always trusted you. She’ll listen to you! I beg of you! Ask her to come home!”

“It’s her decision,” the king said gravely. “I will not make it for her.”

“But the gate is going to close!” shouted Fujisan. The guards grabbed his arms and pulled him back away from the king at the first threatening gesture. “You would leave her out there? You can’t cut her off. It’ll kill her!”

“So,” said the king. “Sheis the only one you are worried about.”

Fujisan felt a flush of shame, as though he was a child again, being scolded, even as he had come begging to his father like a child with nowhere to turn, hoping his father could solve all of his problems. The king nodded at the guards, who let go of Fujisan.

“ _I_ will not be leaving her out there. _I_ will do nothing. It does you no good to come to me. She trusts _you_ , Fujisan. _You_ are the one who has been taking care of her all this time. What are _you_ going to do?”

\---

Lin sat on the ledge in the boiler room, feeding candies one by one to the sootballs gathered round her. A small pile of items that the spirits had left sat on the floor next to her. The rest of the bathhouse was asleep. The meeting had adjourned and Haku had left with their blessings. Everyone had gone home to their human families to prepare for the morning.

Kamaji put down his mortar and pestle for the night. The fire was slowly dying out. He gathered his strength – it had been decades since he had last done this – and slowly, his human skin melted and reshaped itself into a grey, hairy, exoskeleton. His head and torso moved closer together and grew rounded. His dark glasses fell away, revealing eight red-grey eyes.

The spider reached into its underbelly with its front claws and produced a glistening strand of silk. Hi climbed up the wall of cabinets to the ceiling and attached the end of the silk to a corner, and proceeded to spin an enormous web to cover the ceiling.

The only source of light in the room was the flickering of the leftover coals in the boiler. Their red light was dim and shadows obscured the edges of the cavernous room. Lin could only hear the occasional clicking of the spider’s claws on the walls.

“Haku’s grown up,” Lin commented softly, knowing the spider was too far away to hear but that the vibrations of the web would carry her words to Kamaji nevertheless. “I was skeptical at first when they wanted him to take the throne, but he might actually make a good king. I don’t envy him, though. The king rarely leaves the palace.”

The spider suddenly dropped down out of the darkness beside her, making her flinch and stifle a scream.

“Are you trying to scare me to death?” Lin scolded.

The spider held out a sack of silk. Lin carefully placed the trinkets from the file into it - scales, feather, claws – all powerful items in magic with a person’s particular essence on them. Lastly, there was a golden ring with a few hairs wrapped around it – the hairs that Haku had collected in the human world. The spider took the sack and disappeared back into the darkness above. He walked along the web, placing the items at measured intervals. The golden ring he placed in the exact center of the web, and a voice rang out softly into the room, the thoughts amplified by the magic in the web.

“I’m gonna go get us some breakfast.”

“Okay!”

Lin gasped. That voice! She remembered that day vividly. Then an older but still familiar voice spoke into the still air.

“That was my past! My _friends!_ They took that away from me!”

\---

_Chihiro stood on a high balcony and looked out over a vast sheet of water. A cliff rose out of it to the south. Atop these rested the long, flat pigpens. She rested her arms and chin on the wooden railing and sighed._

_Where is Haku? she said to herself, sleepily. He better get here before I forget what my parents look like. I sure hope Dad hasn’t gotten too fat… He promised to come back soon._

_The wind blew gently across the face of the water and played with her hair. Waves lapped at the side of the cliff. The water was blue and clear, like a sea. Fish swam beneath the waves, and below that, the railroad tracks ran into the distance. Something white flashed through the air below._

_Chihiro raised her head, startled by the disturbance. It was the white dragon from before, and it was in trouble. White specks surrounded it like a murder of crows. The dragon twisted and thrashed through the air, trying to throw off the white flecks. It shot straight up, and then fell back down into the water in a desperate attempt to rid itself of flutterlings. The white things hovered above the spot where the dragon sank like angry bees._

_Chihiro leaned over the railing to get a better look. Where those_ birds? _The dragon streaked through the water in Chihiro’s direction with the strange birds following it above the waterline. The dragon reached the base of the bathhouse and flew straight up along the wall. Chihiro had to jump back to get out of the way. The birds sped through the air after it, making a tremendous rustling noise._

_The dragon soon came into sight again, still surrounded. It was white with green trimmings, exactly the color of Haku’s eyes._

_“Haku!” Chihiro yelled. “Fight ‘em! Come on!” She stopped, startled. How did she know that the dragon was Haku? It didn’t matter. “Haku!” she called. “This way!” The dragon torpedoed toward the balcony window at Chihiro, making her shriek and hurl herself aside. The birds were close behind. Chihiro tugged at the balcony doors as hard as she could to close them, but they were stuck. She pulled harder. White things flew through the window straight into her, peppering her and the windows with their bodies. Chihiro screamed and flailed around wildly to get them off her, but they was just paper, and they fluttered to the floor. The ones that were still mostly whole picked themselves up and drifted back outside. Chihiro watched as they floated leisurely away._

_She looked into the room. Wooden window panels had been knocked down by the impact of the dragon flying in. Several of the cabinet doors had fallen off and they were smeared with blood. The room was a mess. The dragon was even smaller than it had first seemed – not even the full length of the room. It was bleeding from shallow cuts all over its body and panting heavily. Blood dripped from its mouth._

_“Haku,” Chihiro said worriedly. “You’re bleeding.”_

_Haku raised his head up to look at her, chest heaving. She couldn’t tell if he recognized her._

_“Hold still. Those paper things are gone now,” Chihiro said. “You’re going to be alright.”_

_He flew straight at her and out the window, making her jump aside yet again and splattering blood everywhere._

_The scene shifted. The dragon snarled at Chihiro and showed his teeth, snapping at her. She held out her hands and desperately tried to calm him down. The wooden wall and floor were covered in blood, and more splattered as the dragon writhed in pain._

_“This is serious,” an old man said gravely from behind her. “It looks like he’s bleeding from the inside.”_

_“The inside?” Chihiro asked._

_“That’s right. Maybe he swallowed something.”_

_Chihiro pulled a green ball of medicine out from her pocket. “Haku, I got this medicine from the river spirit. Eat it! Maybe it’ll help!” She bit off half of it and showed it to the dragon. “See? It’s okay. Now open your mouth. Come on, be good…”She forced the dragon’s mouth open and put the ball of medicine in as far as she could reach. “There, got it!” She clamped the dragon’s mouth shut and held on for dear life as it thrashed._

_The scales dissolved into the air, leaving an unconscious Haku, lying face down and white as death._

_\---_

In the human world, where logic and science prevail, the moon is an inhospitable rock separated from the earth by hundreds of thousands of miles of vacuum. In the world of myth and legend, the moon is a place, just like any other. There are palaces there, with inhabitants, occasionally even a human. It is not about what is real, and what is not. The things in your heart are just as real as the things you hold, and the things you see may merely be illusion.

The clouds obscured the full face of the moon on this night, but where the clouds were thin, the moonlight shining through left a strange colored halo. Another culture might call it a werewolf moon. Haku flew straight toward where the moon was still rising in the east. His tail billowed behind him like a flag in the wind and his scales drank in the starlight. Every scale on his body, his fur and whiskers could feel any changes in the air pressure and currents around him, but there were few. The night air was calm, almost peaceful.

Lin’s voice spoke into his mind: _“Chihiro’s memories are being triggered. Be careful. The spell will be especially sensitive.”_

_You heard her?_ Haku thought back.

_“I heard her memory. It was one of me, from the bathhouse. It was too risky for me to talk to her.”_

_Does she sound okay?_ Haku asked.

_“Nothing out of the ordinary,”_ Lin replied.

_Everything is set up then?_

_“And ready to go. How are things looking?”_

_It’s almost too quiet…_ A familiar dark shape burst out of the trees beneath him. Haku practically glittered with moonlight reflecting off his scales. The cloud cover was low; Haku dove headfirst into it.

_“What’s happening?”_ Lin asked.

_It’s just that tengu from before. I lost him._ The clouds were thin. Haku stayed within it best he could to keep hidden. The clouds completely obscured his vision, but he didn’t need to see the tengu – he felt the tengu’s great wings flapping slowly far below. He rose up briefly to catch sight of the moon and then ducked back under, moving as quickly as he could. The clouds were thicker ahead. The air pressure was dropping. Water droplets clung to Haku, and the air crackled with electricity. Twice Haku had to roll aside to avoid being struck. There was so much humidity in the air that his fur was plastered to his body. The currents from the tengu were fading from his senses, but he had a bigger problem. He was being surrounded by hundreds of small somethings behind those clouds. They kept pace with his speed, swirling around him and creating a vortex. A storm was forming. The only way out was up, even if it was a trap.

_This is bad_ , Haku said. _I think they expected me._

_“Hold on,”_ Lin said. _“I’ll be able to see you in a second.”_

Haku flew up through the eye of the developing cyclone. The cloud had thickened so much that it formed a vertical tunnel. It seemed to go on forever. The moon rose and glowered down at him over the lip of the clouds. Haku burst out of the cloud layer. Crows, formed of magic and thundercloud, burst out of the dark shroud right behind him.

_“Haku! Above you!”_

A dark shape swooped out of the sky and Haku felt sharp talons rake across his back, slipping on his scales. He flipped himself over, snarling. It was a large bird of prey. Haku grabbed it in his teeth and flung it away from him with a sickening crack. It fell limply away into the churning darkness below. There were more of them. Their claws weren’t very effective against Haku’s hardened scales. They were too small. Haku knocked them aside easily with his powerful talons and tail, and he rose quickly. The storm was still brewing, and the thunderheads rose almost as quickly as he did. Dragons are creatures of water, not creatures of air. Haku realized he would be at a significant disadvantage if anything big enough came at him. Surely, there would be greater enemies up ahead.

And as he thought this, an enormous creature rose up out of the clouds below. It had bat-like wings and huge curved claws like scythes, its scaly body barely reflecting the moonlight. Its eyes glowed red, like hot coals. Haku could almost feel the heat. It roared, shaking the air, and Haku had the feeling of looking into a cavern of molten rock that was the thing’s mouth. It could easily bite him in two, if it had a mind to. Haku couldn’t tear his eyes away.

_“WATCH OUT!” Lin screamed in his mind._

A golden net fell over him, burning wherever it touched him. The last thing he saw before he fell into unconsciousness was the creature dissolving into the air. It had only been an illusion.


	20. The Beginning of Madness

_“We’re all mad here. I’m mad. You’re mad."_

 “Wake up.” Chihiro’s eyes snapped open. Three red, ugly faces stared down at her. Oni. “Get up,” one of them ordered. She sat up and slid down from the bed. She became intensely aware of how thin the silk of her white nightgown was. She stood there in her bare feet, shivering slightly. One of the oni stared down at her breast where the silk rested against her skin, and licked his lips. There was a glint in his eye. Chihiro felt blood flush her cheeks. She stared at the floor.

The oni led her out of the room and through the halls, one in front and two behind. She felt the oni’s gaze on her back like a slimy touch, and shuddered. The oni laughed softly.

To distract herself, Chihiro reached into her pocket and brushed the dragon scale lightly with her fingertips.

_Haku?_ She called out, tentatively.

A wave of pain and fear hit her, bringing bile to the back of her throat and making her head spin. It slowly faded away. _Chihiro?_ The thought came through reluctantly, as though pushing through a thick fog.

_Haku, are you alright? Where are you?_ She showed him the images she saw through her eyes, the blank hallways and the oni before her.

_Chihiro…_ Chihiro heard Haku let out a ragged breath, as if he were panting. _Lin told me… your memories were coming back… last night…_

_Lin?_ Chihiro thought, hands trembling.

_The spirit whose voice you heard… in your memory._ Haku seemed to have trouble forming coherent thoughts. _She’s… watching… us now. I’m… sorry… He’s trapped me… in my dragon form…._

Haku’s voice faded away. She was left only with the weight of heavy foreboding pressing down in her chest and the sensation of the cold marble floor under her feet. The walk through the hallways lasted an eternity. 

They finally came to a stop before the room of stars. The doors opened, and Chihiro began to scream. 


	21. Death

(Chihiro)

The white dragon from her dreams, the dragon, Haku, her dragon, golden chains covered his body held in place by a thick golden collar and shackles. His fur was matted with drying blood. Her head was exploding in pain; dark spots danced across her vision; she was screaming something: _NO! NO! HAKU!_ but she couldn’t reach him. She pushed on the ground with her feet, plunging forwards but he didn’t get any closer, she wanted to touch him to heal him why wasn’t she moving? Tears streamed down her face but she wasn’t aware of it only of Haku’s chains rattling as he roared and lunged at her and the pain in her head and her screaming and when drops of his blood hit her they burned they burned. The world was fading away everything was getting smaller and smaller but she fought against the unconsciousness threatening to take over and she screamed her defiance at the spell Haku was _hurt_ there wasn’t time for sleep _._ But the pain, it cleaved her head in two she tried to close her eyes against it but they were locked on Haku and she became aware that _he_ was the source of her pain and he lunged again and she screamed because it was all she could do but now she screamed in anger and fear…

The darkness closed in, wonderful, cool, darkness and relief.

\---

(Haku)

Chihiro’s eyes met Haku’s, and she started to scream. _“NO! NO! HAKU!”_ The sound and the force of her thoughts pierced him like ice and pulled him out of the pain-filled haze. For a second he saw himself through her eyes. _Chihiro, it’s just me, don’t cry, it’s just me. Chihiro, it’s okay, I’m okay…_

 “And you thought you were her friend,” Akuma laughed, talking above the sound of screaming. “You _fantasized_ that she might _love_ you. See what good comes of loving a human. She screams at the very sight of you. You are a monster from her nightmares! You will never be _anything_ but a monster.”

Lin’s voice rang out in his memory. _“Chihiro’s memories are being triggered. Be careful. The spell will be especially sensitive.”_ Shika’s voice chimed in. _“How could you do this to her!”_

_My dragon form. It triggers her memories. Chihiro can’t bear the sight of it. It’s too much for the spell. Akuma must have planned this._ Haku roared in pain and fury, trying to change back into human form, but the chains on his body and the golden collar tightened when he tried. The spikes lining the inside the collar pierced in deep under his scales. Blood ran in rivulets down his sides. He lunged at Akuma, snapping his jaws closed an inch from his face. _YOU’RE the monster!_

“Just _try_ to change, boy,” Akuma snarled. “You think I would be so incompetent? I designed that collar especially for you.” He tapped Haku on the nose, who flinched away as though from a blow.

Blood flew from his mane splattering the ground and Chihiro, who recoiled. She was straining toward him but the oni behind her had grabbed ahold of her arms and every step she tried to take just wrenched them more. _Chihiro, Chihiro…_ Haku wanted to take her in his arms, to comfort her, but she was screaming again, and crying. The blood vessels in her eyes popped from the pressure of the screaming and her tears were mingled with blood.

Haku couldn’t help himself. He tried to reach for her with his muzzle, the only way he knew how in this form. Her eyes widened and her screaming became hysterical with fear, sharp, piercing, urgent. Haku shrank back. _Am I a monster?_ And then she collapsed, and was still. The quiet hung like a curtain in the air.

“Big mistake,” Akuma commented. “I bet she thought you were going to eat her, a great bloody beast like you. Still think she’ll ever be able to look at you again, after that?”

Haku growled, making Akuma glance around. One of the oni had bent down to reach for Chihiro.

“Not yet, you fool!” he said, knocking the offending oni back with a gesture. “We need her whole to break the bond between the worlds. After she’s dead, then, you can do whatever you want with her.” He looked over his shoulder at Haku, whose eyes were wide with shock, and sneered. “I’ll even dress her in her wedding clothes for the occasion, just for you. Now, won’t that be nice?”

_DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH HER!_ Haku screamed, but all that came out was an ear-splitting roar.

Akuma patted his cheek, easily dodging Haku’s teeth. “Settle down now,” he said. “You’ll be here for a good long while. Feel free to bleed to death while you wait, if you’d like. I’ll take care of you after we finish our business with your little lover at the borderlands, if you’re still alive when I get back. I very much doubt it.” With that, he led the oni, one of them carrying the unconscious Chihiro, out of the room. The door slammed shut.

Haku sank to the floor, all defiance gone. The spikes dug into his flesh but he was numb to it, the physical pain almost a relief from the turmoil inside.

_Lin,_ he whispered hoarsely. _What am I going to do?_

There was only silence.

\---

(Lin)

Lin tore her gaze away from the image in the air. She had seen and heard everything. She had no words to comfort Haku. “Kamaji,” she said, shaking. “We have to tell the others what happened.” The soot balls crowded around, offering their comfort.

The air rustled with the spider’s movements, and Lin heard the twanging of the silk above as he plucked the appropriate strands.

“Yes, Kamaji?” Tenryu’s voice filled the room.

“Tenryu,” Lin said, “Akuma is taking Chihiro to the border. He plans to use her life force to separate the worlds. Haku is trapped in his palace, and he’s badly hurt.” She fought to keep her voice calm.

“Which Gate?”

“He didn’t say,” Lin said.

“Shika,” Tenryu said on the other side of the connection, “Lin says Akuma is headed for one of the Gates. We need to be prepared wherever they appear. Lin, keep the network open and let us know as soon as they are sighted.”

“What about Haku?” Lin asked. The image of Haku still hung in the air above. He seemed to have gone into shock, and blood was beginning to pool around him.

“There are Gates on every continent. We’re spread too thinly as it is. We don’t have anyone to spare.”

“Haku is DYING,” Lin shouted. “Where’s your king going to come from if you let him die, Tenryu?”

“Haku is not the only candidate, Lin. If Fujisan gets the throne the Spirit World will survive. However, we will _not_ survive if the worlds are split. We can’t save both Chihiro and Haku, and right now it’s more important to stop Akuma. I’m sorry, Lin.” He broke the connection.

Lin looked up at Haku. She could see his chest rising with each shallow breath, his heart pumping blood out of his body with every beat. The breaths were only getting shallower. He was still alive, but not for much longer.

“Kamaji,” Lin said. “How can they just give up on him?” Her voice broke.

“Remember… remember when Sen first came here, and Haku was still Yubaba’s apprentice… remember how he protected Sen…” She knew that Kamaji had been there and knew all of this, but she couldn’t seem to stop talking. “No one else understands but, Sen could easily have ended up servicing the customers here. A girl at her age would have been popular with the guests, even though she was human. Haku understood enough to protect her from all of that ugliness… by giving her the most unglamorous job…with me…”

Kamaji clicked his mandibles, drawing Lin’s attention upward. A man and a woman had entered the image, where the white dragon was now almost completely still. Lin took a slow breath. The man was Fujisan.

Fujisan knelt down next to Haku, indifferent to the blood soaking his clothes, and placed his hands on Haku’s head. He whispered something. The blood on the floor seemed to boil, and began to flow back into Haku’s body. The woman pulled a ring of tiny, golden keys from her sleeve. There were marks on her wrists, as if they had been chafed raw by rough rope, and recently. The woman bent down and unlocked the shackles that bound Haku.

Fujisan ran his hands over Haku’s wounds, which closed beneath his touch. The woman pulled the chains aside and tossed them in a pile on the floor.

“Kitsune,” Fujisan said. “Stay here with my brother. If he wakes up, take him wherever he wants to go. He’s in no condition to fly.”

“If…” Kitsune said. “Are we too late? But you just healed him…”

“I don’t know,” Fujisan said.

“Where are you going?” Kitsune asked.

“Home, to get my father. One way or another, we’re going to need him before the day is out.”


	22. Madness

_"How do you know I’m mad?" said Alice._

_"You must be," said the Cat, "or you wouldn’t have come here.”_

_\---_

_Haku stood on a clifftop, his back to her, looking out over the sea. The sea breeze teased his hair and clothes, and he looked beautifully, wonderfully unscathed._

_“Haku!” Chihiro called, running toward him. “I thought you were… Thank goodness you’re okay…” She paused, confused. Her heart briefly stopped. Haku was taller and older, and there was a woman with him. They were holding hands. The woman turned around to look at Chihiro. She looked familiar._

_“Lin?” Chihiro said._

_The woman smirked. “That’s right, klutz. I see you thinking of Haku as ‘your dragon.’ Put those thoughts away now, he’s mine.  Did you really think that Haku was going to wait for you all these years? He’s the king of the spirits now, and you’re just a little human girl. You’re not worth his time, and you never will be.”_

_“All these years? But I thought…. Haku, what’s going on?” Chihiro asked._

_Haku wouldn’t turn around, and he wouldn’t answer._

_“Isn’t it obvious?” Lin said. “He belongs in the spirit world, and you do not. Now run along.” She made a shooing motion with her hand, then turned away, and placed her head on Haku’s shoulder, whispering in his ear._

_“You must understand-” Chihiro whirled around to find Shika behind her, speaking in his dry voice. “The prince’s bride must be someone who’s willing to give him all of herself. Would you be able to do that? You have your family at home, your friends, college to go to; you have a whole life in front of you. It’s for your own good, you know. It’s better to give up your fantasies now, before you get hurt.”_

_“But what happened? Where am I?” Chihiro asked. “Why won’t Haku talk to me?”_

_“Because he doesn’t want to hurt you, dearest,” Shika said. “As for where you are, you are looking into the future. You’ve glanced into Haku’s and Fujisan’s pasts before in your dreams, without realizing it, and now you’re looking forward. You really have quite the talent for this. You can do so much with your life, accomplish so much, if you have the ambition to.”_

_Risuni suddenly appeared next to her. “Chihiro, they’re all using you. They wanted to make Haku king, and they used you as leverage. They made him agree to take the throne in exchange for rescuing you, and now they’re never going to let you see him again. He agreed, though, to keep you alive, and now he’s drunk with power. He doesn’t care about you anymore. He’d rather be king. There’s nothing in the Spirit World for you now, Chihiro. Come home. Come home and live your life where it’s safe, before it’s too late.”_

_“Let me show you something, Chihiro,” Fujisan said. He pulled Chihiro into a vision. She saw the Kohaku River as it had been, before she was born. The familiar white dragon rose out of it as the river flooded over, knocking down the wooden huts of the village and carrying debris along. It attacked people who couldn’t run away fast enough, drinking in their last breaths greedily one after another. “Look at my brother, Chihiro. Do you really want to unleash this on your people? Do you really want to stay with_ this _? You understand so much already, surely you understand…”_

_“You’re not good enough for him.” “Would you give your life away?” “Forget him. You would never be happy with him.” “He’s a danger to your people.” They had surrounded her. Their voices swirled around her until she couldn’t tell one from another. Chihiro shielded her head with her arms, as if she could keep the voices at bay that way. One thing stuck out to her._

_Chihiro reached out a hand and caught the front of Shika’s shirt. “You!” she exclaimed. The voices stopped. “You said this was a dream!” She was lucid now. “You’re not real! Furthermore, this is_ my _dream. That means_ I’m _in charge. Get out of_ my _dream!” One by one, the dream figures faded away into nothing, leaving the cliffs, the sea, and Haku._

_Chihiro walked up the path toward Haku, put a hand on his shoulder, and turned him around. She gasped, and stumbled backwards. It looked like Haku, but it wasn’t Haku. It had red eyes. The red eyes looked out of place on Haku’s pale face._

_“Surprissse,” the thing hissed. It grinned widely, revealing a predator’s sharp teeth. “My dear brother was right, Chihiro. Thisss is what I really am, and in your foolishnessss you have banished your protectorssss.” It morphed into the white dragon and sprung at her._

_“No,” Chihiro said, hoping she wasn’t mistaken. Her heart raced as she battled her fear for control of her feet. “You are not Haku. Haku could have killed me long ago. He’s had plenty of opportunity.” The dragon froze, and Chihiro continued, encouraged. “I mean, I put my arm in his mouth once. He could have dropped me from the sky multiple times. No. You are a figment of my subconscious imagination. Go away.”_

_The dragon vanished in a puff of smoke, and then Chihiro was alone._

_“Impressive,” said a voice. It came from everywhere and nowhere, all at once. “You have an unreasonable amount of trust in someone you haven’t seen in seven years. Is it wisdom or foolishness? I had not believed it, but you_ are _the threat Akuma made you out to be. No matter. It’ll all be over in a few hours, and by then, you’re going to wish that that pretty boy of yours_ was _evil. We hoped you’d volunteer to take care of him for us, but you are much too strong-willed for that. No matter. You will watch, instead.”_

_“What are you talking about?” Chihiro demanded. “Who are you?” But there was no reply._

_There was nothing left to do. Chihiro set off across the dreamscape, determined to find someone who could explain everything to her._

\---

Lin looked up at the image of the unconscious Haku and the fox-woman keeping vigil over him. She was worried. She had been keeping an eye on them while conversing with the rebellion’s leaders, passing messages back and forth. At first, Haku’s breathing had eased and become stronger, and Lin had been relieved. All of his physical wounds had disappeared. There was no visible indication that he was hurt, and yet, the movement of his chest had since slowed. Lin could tell from the lines of concern on Kitsune’s face that Haku’s condition had not improved. Something was obviously still wrong. Lin wished Fujisan had explained exactly why Haku still might not survive, and whether she could do anything about it. She wished she were not stuck in the bathhouse.

\---

_A trail led down the hill and away from the sea. Chihiro followed it along the shore for what seemed like hours. The dreamscape was beautiful but barren, and there was no sign of life anywhere._

_She came to a ravine. Below, a river had carved through the rock to feed into the ocean. Chihiro carefully picked her way down into the ravine. The rocks were loose underfoot, and tangled briars lined the sides of the trail. She followed the gorge upstream. The river shrank as she went, until the river was only a trickle and the streambed was overgrown with greenery. She could tell that it had been dry for years._

_Chihiro was confused. It didn’t make sense. Where had the river’s water come from, if not upstream? She didn’t give any thought to the fact that it was a dream, and she was so intent on her thoughts that she wasn’t paying any attention to her surroundings when she passed No-Face standing beside the trail._

_It took a double-take for Chihiro to notice him. He was beckoning to her with one thin arm. She approached warily, mindful of the characters she had met in the dream thus far. “Are you going to hurt me?” she asked._

_“Follow me,” it whispered. “There is something you should see.”_

_“You can talk?” Chihiro asked. “But you never talked before.”_

_“Many desires are fulfilled in dreams,” was the only thing it said in reply._

_They entered a cave in the cliff face. In the inner chamber there was a small pool, set in the floor. In the surface of the water Chihiro saw Haku, in dragon form. His wounds were gone, and his eyes were closed. He looked to be asleep._

_“Call to him, Chihiro. Haku is dying.”_

_Chihiro recognized Zeniiba’s voice as it reverberated through the cave._

_“Dying!” She cried. “Zeniiba, where are you? Is it true?”_

_“Call him back,” the voice repeated._

_“How? I’m trapped in a dream!” Chihiro said, but the voice had gone. She peered again into the pool where the white dragon lay. She had first met him, less than a month ago. It had been a whirlwind since, and they’d had little time to talk. “What can I do? How do I call you?” She asked softly. “I barely know you.” Then she realized that though she was looking directly at the dragon, her head didn’t hurt, and that it hadn’t hurt this whole time._


	23. What He Meant

_“It doesn’t hurt anymore!” Chihiro told No-Face. “Is the spell broken?”_

_“No,” No-Face said. “Your memories have always been here, waiting for you. Just reach for them.”_

_Chihiro closed her eyes. Seven years ago. That’s what Haku had said, when he met her in the forest half a lifetime ago. He had been looking for someone, he said, and now Chihiro realized that it must have been her. Seven years ago. What had been happening seven years ago?_

_That was the year they had moved out of the city.  She remembered that day vividly. They had driven down the highway and taken the wrong exit, and they had gotten lost. They ended up in the forest, almost hitting the short stone statue in the clearing. There had been a huge red plaster building with a tunnel in its side, and Dad had thought it was an abandoned amusement park. Chihiro remembered that the wind that tried to push them in._

_Chihiro opened her eyes in shock. Where had the red building come from? There had never been a red building there before that she’d seen, in any of her visits to that clearing in the last seven years; and yet there it was, clear as day in her memory, as if it had always been there. In her waking recollections of that time, she and her parents had gotten out of the car and wandered around the clearing for a short time before they left. They were surprised when they finally got to the house and found no one there. The moving company had left all of their stuff in the house and the door gapingly wide open. Her father had left many angry messages with the company secretary, trying to find someone to blame. It was a miracle that nothing had been stolen._

_Chihiro let her newfound memories take over again. She saw the bright red plaster building and the grass covered fields beyond, swept with wind and dotted with stones. She saw the immense and beautiful bathhouse and heard the rumble of the train below. She remembered seeing Haku for the first time, shock and fear on his face as he urged her to leave. She felt the wind on her face as the lamps lit and she ran down the steps into the street. She saw her parents turn into pigs. The feelings, the feelings were so vibrant she could hardly believe it. The sense of wonder as she saw the spirit world for the first time, the panic coursing through her as she realized it wasn’t a dream, the fear when she saw her hand move through Haku’s._

_And Haku was there, comforting her, encouraging her, helping her. The dream played out like a movie, and she marveled at the colorful characters that became her friends as the story went on. Through all of the turmoil, Haku was always there. Even when she briefly lost faith in him, he didn’t give up on her. Even though for much of their time together, she didn’t know anything about his past, she knew he was good. And that’s what mattered. When she had seen all there was to see, she was surprised to find that her time in the spirit world had made her a profoundly different person. Even though she hadn’t remembered any of it, she had absorbed the lessons. She had remembered that she could trust Haku._

_She remembered her red-faced reaction the first time she had seen him. He was good looking, yes. She had crushed on him, yes. But what he meant to her was so much more than just a crush._

_She looked down at the surface of the pool where her old friend lay dying._

_“Nigihayami Kohakunushi,” she said. “Prince Nighayami Kohakunushi. Haku. I knew you once, and then forgot you. Enough time has passed we’ve become different people, and even if I’d remembered, I wouldn’t know you like I used to. But no one ever knows another person completely. All we have is what we were yesterday, and what we are likely to become tomorrow. I don’t need to know everything about you to know that I care about you. I don’t need to know you to know that you are my friend. You’ve done so much for me. You mean so much to me. I need you to live, Haku, so that I can get to know you. Every time we meet, we are caught up in something bigger than ourselves, and we are always short on time. Live, so I can finally know you. Live, so that I can be your friend. I love you. You have to live.”_

_She did not notice that at some point during her soliloquy, tears had begun running down her face._

\---

Movement caught Lin’s attention. Kitsune had stood up.

“Where is she going?” Lin said to herself. Her heart bucked into her throat. The white dragon was completely still. “No!” she scream-whispered. “Haku! You can’t die, damn you! Now’s not the time!”

“Lin. _He_ is here. And he has Chihiro with him.” It was the eagle spirit who guarded the Gate on the fog covered Pacific coast, halfway around the world.

Lin tore her gaze away from Haku. She took some seconds to compose herself, then asked: “At Mount Mazama?”

“They are crossing Llao’s lake, headed for vunsh shkoks awaloga*. My people dare not go there.”

“Try to convince them. They know Llao is long gone. I’ll send help as fast as I can.”

\---

Haku stood on a stone station platform rising out of a calm blue sea. He was waiting for the train, and he was alone. The water stretched as far as the eye could see in every direction. It seemed like he had been waiting there since the beginning of time, and finally, he could see the train coming in, parting the water before it.

“Haku,” a voice called. He turned around. It was Chihiro, ten years old once again, big eyes looking at him and, _what is she doing here?_

“Haku,” she said. “Come with me. Let’s go home.” For some reason, she was crying.

“But the train’s coming,” Haku said, confused. “I need to get on the train.”

“No, you don’t,” Chihiro said. She reached out and took his hand. “It’s not time yet. Come on, let’s go.”

“Where are we going?” Haku asked.

Haku looked from the train pulling into the station to Chihiro’s hand in his. He felt the pull of the train, beckoning to him. He felt the conductor’s gaze. But Chihiro’s hand was becoming more real to him by the second, warm and small in his, pulling him away from the open train door.

They stepped off the station platform into darkness and blinding pain. Haku’s tail whipped through the air, catching Kitsune by surprise and smashing her into the wall. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Vunsh shkoks awaloga is my best translation of Phantom Ship Island into the Klamath Indian language. All my research could not find what they called the island. This is a real place, by the way, sacred to the nearby American Indian tribes (including the Klamath), and a perfect place for a spirit to cross into the human world. 
> 
> Llao is a spirit who came through the mouth of the volcano before the lake formed in Klamath legends of the place.


	24. Akuma's Plan

_Chihiro looked up from the pool, and blinked. She could feel the wind on her skin and the rocks under her feet. They were on a rocky outcropping, and there was flat water beyond the rocks, sunlight glinting off the surface. It was as if she’d woken up. Akuma stood before her. She tried to ask him where she was, why he was doing this, but to her horror, her mouth did not move. As hard as she tried, she couldn’t make a sound._

_Akuma smiled at her. He had a long, white bundle of silk draped over one arm. “Your wedding gown,” he said. “Don’t be shy. I won’t let any of the oni see you.” Chihiro felt her hands pulling her shirt up over her head, and then undoing the buttons on her jeans._

_Haku’s scale! She thought. It’s in the pocket! But her fingers didn’t brush against the scale as they slid the denim down to pool around her feet. She panicked as Akuma walked toward her, and would have shuddered when his hands slid over her skin as they pulled and tied the kimono into place, had she any control over her body._

_Chihiro watched as she lay down on a flat stone, and closed her eyes, trapping herself in darkness once more._

_“Don’t fret, my dear,” Akuma whispered in her ear. “The next time you wake, it’ll be in the arms of your dragon boy.”_

_\---_

Haku groaned. His long tail and mane dissolved, leaving him on his hands and knees, retching. It was as if the blood in his veins had been set on fire. The pain slowly faded to a bearable level. He opened his eyes. A woman he didn’t recognize was sitting bent over against the wall, holding her head. The floor that had been covered with his blood was now clean.

 _Lin,_ he called out.

 _You’re alive!_ Lin shouted.

 _There’s no need to sound so excited._ Haku grimaced. His head pounded. _I’m only barely alive. What’s happened? Who is that woman?_

_Her name is Kitsune. Fujisan healed you and told her to wait to see if you would wake up._

_Fujisan healed me?_ Haku asked in disbelief. Chihiro had said she didn’t blame him, but he was still skeptical.

“Are you okay?” Kitsune had come over to Haku, moving on her hands and knees, and now sat next to him, looking at him with concern. He noticed that she had one long cut on her forehead, and her wrists were chafed raw. “I was so worried. Fujisan said you might not wake up. I’m to take you wherever you need to go. You’re not supposed to fly to this condition.”

Haku took stock mentally. She was right. There was no way he could transform in his current state.

 _Lin,_ he thought. _Where do I find Chihiro?_

 _Akuma took her to the gate at Mount Mazama,_ came the reply.

“Lin says Chihiro been taken to Mount Mazama,” he said. “Can you take me there?”

“Who’s Lin?” Kitsune asked. She was still dizzy from knocking her head against the wall, and forgot what she had asked almost immediately. “Mount Mazama,” she said. “Yes. Can you walk?” She offered Haku her arm as she stood up. The mists rose up around them. Haku took the proffered arm, leaning against it heavily as he got to his feet, and together they entered the mist. Haku’s strength was slowly trickling back. Every step was stronger than the last, but not by much.

The trip was much shorter than the ones Shika had led through the mists. They entered the reality of the island and walked into a thick, natural fog. Llao, the spirit of Mount Mazama, long lay dormant. The lake and islands in the volcano mouth were his children, and for that reason, they had been sacred to the native people ever since their birth. Fog almost perpetually obscured Phantom Ship Island from view from the edges of the volcanic lake. Only a few lucky visitors ever got a good look at the island from the shore.

“So you didn’t die after all, dragon boy,” Akuma’s voice said through the fog. It was slightly muffled. “And you, my dear, you couldn’t stay put either, could you?” Kitsune rubbed her wrists subconsciously. Haku saw this, and took her hand. They walked on together.

“I’m disappointed,” Akuma said. “Killing you would be like swatting a fly.” The fog dispersed, and they found themselves in front of a stone altar. Shadowy spirits, almost solid in the low light, had surrounded them. Haku stiffened. Chihiro lay still on the altar. Her face wsa pale and her eyes were closed. She was dressed in an opulent white silk kimono. Haku felt his hackles rise and a low growl form in the back of his throat. He doubted that she had been awake to put the kimono on herself. Kitsune’s hand tightened its grip on his.

“Are you enjoying the view?” Akuma asked. “Beautiful, isn’t she?”

 _Help is coming!_ Lin’s voice said into Haku’s mind. _Stall!_

“What did you do to her?” Haku growled.

“You meant to ask, what am I about to do to her?” Akuma said. The shadows closed in, pushing Haku and Kitsune closer to each other. “Her blood will be the perfect thing for tearing the worlds apart. You’re just in time. How I love having an audience.” With mocking gentleness, he lifted Chihiro’s hand. Her fingers were wrapped around the handle of a glinting obsidian dagger. “Look at that tender skin, filled with so much life. Naughty dragon boy, wanting all that blood for yourself, surely you can find it in you to share.” He traced a finger down the pale skin of Chihiro’s wrist.

The shadows exploded. Haku rammed through the gathered spirits, knocking them into the air as he flew toward Akuma. Akuma took the dagger from Chihiro and pointed it at Haku, and with seemingly no effort at all slammed him back. He hit a boulder with a loud crack splitting the rock, and raising a plume of dust.

Akuma leaned down over Chihiro as if he was about to kiss her, and lifted her head and shoulders up so that she was cradled in the crook of one arm. He seemed to whisper to her.

From above them, an eagle screamed. Akuma looked up. A massive bird swooped down, a boy gripped in its talons. It released the boy at the low point of its dive before pumping its wings and rising back into the air. The boy rolled when he hit the ground, and charged at Akuma, taking a long knife from between his teeth. Haku emerged from the cloud of dust and streaked at Akuma from a different direction.  

            Holding her hand in his, Akuma calmly brought the dagger to Chihiro’s neck. “Don’t move,” he said. They both froze. “I’m sure that witch woman has told you how much power a little blood shed here will have, or a life taken. I would only have to press down such a little bit. Her heart would do the rest.”

Suddenly, the water around them began to churn like it was boiling. Waves rose though there was no wind, and whirlpools formed. Thunderclouds gathered overhead. Out of the depths of the nearest whirlpool three figures rose standing on a column of water. The shadows writhed in fear as the water carried the figures to shore. It was Tenryu and Fujisan, and they had brought King Nihonkai with them.

“Akuma. What brings you here?” the king asked gravely.

“Nihonkai, what a pleasure,” Akuma said casually. He still supported Chihiro in his arm. “You must work on raising your children to be more self-sufficient. Or how will we manage when you abdicate?”

“You lost the authority to interfere in the lives of humans long ago, Akuma,” the king said. “Take your people, and leave this place.”

“They don’t need _my_ interference,” Akuma laughed. “They wreak havoc just fine on their own, don’t they, Prince Fujisan?”

“I was a fool to listen to your poisoned words, I know that now,” Fujisan said. “You have no power over me any longer.”

“Ah, so you’re going to let Jukai watch the suicides until she becomes one herself,” Akuma said. Fujisan flinched.

“That’s enough,” King Nihonkai said. He pulled a shining orb out from one of his sleeves and held it out in front of him. The shadows screamed as the light hit them, but Akuma started to laugh again. The king’s voice rose above the cacophony, saying simply: “By the light of Amaterasu, I bid you depart.” The light seemed to pull them into nonexistence, the shadowed spirits first, and finally Akuma as well, who was still laughing.

Haku moved first, catching Chihiro’s head before it could hit the stone and guiding the dagger away from her skin so it wouldn’t cut her as it fell. Chihiro’s eyes snapped open. Before Haku could react, her grip on the dagger tightened, and she plunged the blade into his chest.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was definitely one of the hardest to write so far...
> 
> I also wanted to share with you all some drawings I've done, in case you're curious about how I imagined Haku, Chihiro, or the Dragon Palace in my story.
> 
> http://thoughtsformystalkers.blogspot.com/2015/03/illustrations-for-chihiro.html


	25. Maybe the End

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Early chapter release to apologize for the cliffhanger at the end of the last chapter ^^

A drop of blood ran down the curved edge of the blade, hit the handle, and fell to the ground. Chihiro let go of the dagger as if it had burned her hand. She backed away, stumbling and falling over the uneven ground, eyes wide and gasping. She stared in shock at the inch of black glass knife protruding from the front of Haku chest. Haku closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing and slow his heart rate.

The eagle flew down from the sky and turned into the dark-skinned man. He landed lightly on his feet and took the knife from the boy. Then he whirled around and pointed it at the trembling Chihiro. "Are you the real one?" he demanded. "Tell me why I should not kill you."

"Stop that, Yauxal, you're frightening her," Haku said wearily. He walked over to Chihiro slowly, wincing a little and trying not to jiggle the knife. He knew that the only reason he hadn't bled out yet was that the knife was blocking the flow. Obsidian, which was formed from the blood of the earth, was one of the few non-magical things able to kill a spirit.

"I'm frightening her!" the eagle spirit exclaimed, but stepped aside to let Haku approach.

"Chihiro," Haku said, "stand up now, it's okay."

"B-but, what-" Chihiro stammered, confusion and fear in her eyes.

"It's okay," Haku said gently. He slowly pulled Chihiro into a cautious one-armed embrace, carefully avoiding the knife, and softly kissed the top of her head. Chihiro rested her cheek on Haku's shoulder. He was warm. She could feel Haku shaking and his heart pounding. Knowing that he was scared as well calmed her.

"Let's get your memories back," Haku murmured soothingly into her hair. "I'll need your help. We need a little bit of your blood, okay?" Chihiro stiffened a little. "Don't worry," Haku said, and held her until she relaxed and nodded.

_Lin,_  he thought,  _is everything ready?_

_Yes, go ahead,_ Lin said.

Fujisan hurried toward them across the rocks, looking worried, but Haku shook his head at him.

With one arm still around Chihiro, Haku led her up to the stone altar. The boy that Yauxal had dropped from his talons stood across from them. Yauxal handed the knife back to him, and without hesitation, the boy made a shallow slash across each of his palms, letting the blood fall onto the altar, and then passed the knife to Haku. He squeezed Chihiro lightly, and then took her right hand and cut across the palm of it with the knife. He quickly did the same to his left and held their hands above the stone. The red droplets hissed as they hit the surface.

"It is done," Haku said.

_It is done,_  Lin agreed. At the various Gates around the world, spirits, humans, and their offspring repeated the phrase and let their blood fall onto holy ground. Generations of children of both spirits and humans had guarded their mixed-blood heritage for centuries, awaiting this moment.

At the Gate which had started it all, in the tunnel of the red plaster building that marked the border between the worlds, Zeniiba placed the two powerful seals together end to end, one golden and one silver. One by one, Risuni's family let their blood fall onto the join of the seals. The seals glowed as they melted together and fused into a small metal sphere. With a soft pop, Zeniiba disappeared. Shika picked up the sphere and pocketed it. He would deliver it, in the morning, to Yubaba. The bathhouse workers would be surprised by the new attitude in their boss lady, but only Lin and Kamaji would really know what had happened. The twins would no longer be two, but one, as they originally had been.

Chihiro was hallucinating. Flecks of light swirled in front of her eyes, each one a story, a voice, a memory. She swayed on her feet, and was caught by the boy, now a man, who left a bloody handprint on her white kimono. She didn't notice; she was too busy remembering.

She remembered all that had happened that day they had moved. She remembered forgetting when she passed through the Gate, an odd feeling. She remembered all of the dreams in which her memories had been kept safe. She remembered all that had happened with Shika on the way to Tokyo, and in Akuma's palace, and in the magical sleep Akuma had put her under. She remembered remembering in that sleep, and she remembered forgetting again upon waking up. She remembered having no control over her body and stabbing Haku.

She opened her eyes just in time to see Haku collapse. Falling dislodged the knife, and blood gushed out, quickly pooling on the ground around the wound. Chihiro found herself kneeling next to Fujisan on one side, and the king on the other. They showed her where to put her hands to block the bleeding as they used magic to slowly knit together heart muscle and lungs, which had both been cleanly pierced by the sharp obsidian. Their hands were steady and able, but it still seemed to Chihiro that they couldn't work fast enough.  _How much blood could one person lose?_ Chihiro thought _. How many times a day could a person almost die and still live?_

The sun had nearly gone down by the time Chihiro finally stood up. Haku had not woken, but his wounds were closed and he was breathing now, slowly and steadily. Chihiro was bloody and tired, and her knees hurt from kneeling on the rocky ground. She didn't care. Haku was alive. She turned around slowly without seeing anything, and almost fell over when Risuni hugged her, hard. "Thank goodness you're okay!" Risuni exclaimed. "We were so worried!"

Risuni had barely let go when Shika grabbed her to squeeze her and lift her off her feet. "Tenryu was completely right about you," Shika said, when he had set her down again. "Haku wouldn't be alive if not for you."

"He almost died because of me," Chihiro said grimly. All of the events of the day suddenly caught up with her.

"Well you killed him once, and saved him twice," Shika said. "I'd say that you're still doing pretty well."

"Shika!" Risuni scolded, but Shika's lighthearted banter had already brought a small smile back to Chihiro's face. Risuni smiled, too. "You can't control what other people think, but your friends know that it was out of your hands. Lin had her eye on you this whole time, and she says you were unconscious that whole time and didn't wake up until after."

"It was a little more complicated than that," Chihiro murmured, "but I'll explain later."

"Don't worry," Shika said. "Everything will work out, and what doesn't will blow over."

Someone tapped Chihiro on the shoulder. She turned around. It was Fujisan. Behind him, Haku was floating in the air next to the king as if on an invisible stretcher.

Fujisan bowed deeply to Chihiro. "Thank you for everything you've done for the Spirit World and for my brother Kohaku," Fujisan said. "And for me. We're going to take him back to the palace now. He needs to rest."

"Should I come?" Chihiro asked.

"No," Fujisan said. "You should go home. You have a duty to your parents. Don't worry about Kohaku. We'll take good care of him."

Chihiro tried to protest, but Risuni placed a hand on her arm.

"As much as I think you should be there when he wakes up," Risuni said apologetically, "we're running out of excuses to tell your parents. The worlds are joined again, and the spell on the border is broken, so it's not like you can't see each other again. I'm sure you'll hear about it as soon Haku is feeling better."

Chihiro took a long look at the unconscious Haku, who was almost as pale now as when Yubaba had had him under her control, then took a deep breath and nodded.

"One last thing," Fujisan said. He carefully picked up the obsidian dagger from the ground where it had lain ignored. It was still now clean. With the sharp tip, he drew thin line down his thumb and across his palm. Chihiro could feel immense heat emanating from the hairline cut. Fujisan traced the shape of the dagger with the hand he'd cut, and a sheath appeared around the knife, red with heat. When it cooled, Chihiro saw that it was made of the same material as the dagger itself, but smooth rather than jagged, and with beautiful white snowflakes were scattered across the face of the black volcanic glass.

Fujisan handed it to her. "Keep this," he said. "Learn to use it, and it can protect you against anything in the Spirit or human worlds." He bowed again, and then embraced her briefly, before walking back to where his father and brother were waiting. They walked together onto the rippling water, and slowly sank down beneath the waves. Chihiro turned away as well, gripping the still warm stone of the dagger sheath, and with both Risuni and Shika's arms around her, walked into the mist.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has stuck with me ever since the first draft of this story (which was a completely different story)! This is already draft 4. There needs to be at least one more draft, though, to fix some character issues now that I know how the story is going to end. There will (probably!) be an epilogue, but I just want to say here, THANK YOU FOR READING!


	26. Epilogue - Waking

Wednesday, April 7th

Dear Diary,

            It’s hard to believe that after all that’s happened, I’m leaving for University tomorrow. Classes start the day after that. I haven’t heard anything about how Haku is doing, and it’s almost been two weeks. Surely someone would’ve told me if he’d gotten worse. I wonder what’s been happening. I’ve already finished packing. What if, after I leave, they aren’t able to get in contact with me?

            But there I go, worrying instead of recording everything that’s happened. We stayed with Risuni’s family for most of the last couple of weeks. We only got back yesterday – it was so strange to have to drive to the airport and fly in a metal box; I guess I’ve gotten used to travelling through the mist – and we’ve been unpacking and cleaning and packing again. The earthquake made a mess, but most of our stuff is okay. We set up a bed for Mom downstairs, since she still needs crutches to get around, but she’ll be alright. Risuni’s family still isn’t back, as she doesn’t start school until next week. It’ll be strange, going to school without her. I’m really going to miss her perfect sarcastic remarks. (Remember “Curtsy while you think, it saves time”? I don’t think she knows I heard her say that.) I can’t keep thinking about this, I’m going to cry…

            It’s been raining nonstop for the past few days. The rainy season isn’t supposed to start for another couple of months. I

Dear Diary,

            Sorry about the interrupted entry. I had stopped writing because someone had knocked on the door downstairs. Guess who it was, diary? It was Haku!! My parents got to the door before me and I could see the shock on their faces when they saw such a well-dressed boy (A boy! At the door! For me! And he was completely dry, of course, even though it was pouring) outside. I almost laughed. I’d been so disinterested in boys that they were probably starting to worry. The whole thing was an impossible exercise in self-control. I was so relieved to see him I just wanted to run to him and hug him, but of course I couldn’t do that in front of my parents. It would probably just freak them out even more. Haku bowed to them and they had to let him in, seeing as they couldn’t possibly shoo us both out into the rain. We had a slightly awkward conversation in the living room, trying not to let my parents overhear. (Of course they wouldn’t let me take him into my bedroom. Parents.)

            The upshot of it all is that he’s okay! I want to sing! I guess an exaggerated version of what had happened at Phantom Ship Island got out, and a lot of people want him to by the next Dragon King. It doesn’t help that Fujisan was the main candidate, and they see Fujisan as having helped Akuma. Haku has another brother, too – Tateyama – but he was never really even under consideration. Haku isn’t very happy about this, but he says he doesn’t really have any choice in the matter. The reason I hadn’t heard anything until now was that he wanted to come tell me in person, and he’s been caught up in court functions.

            He didn’t stay long, unfortunately. He’d escaped some sort of state dinner to come here. But he left me a scale, since I’d lost the first one with my jeans. Suddenly, college seems a lot less lonely. At least I’ll have a friend who understands.

            I shouldn’t say that. Yumi and her boyfriend will also be going to Daito Bunka. I need to stop underestimating her. For all that she’s boy-obsessed, she’s a good friend. And it’s not like she’ll be the only boy-obsessed one there. She’ll definitely get a kick out of meeting Haku.

            That’s it for now, diary. I’m sure I’ll be too busy to write for a while. Until next time, then.

Love,

Chihiro


	27. Author's Note

Dear Readers, 

We finally know the ending of Chihiro, almost 3 years after I started. There will be one last revision before the story is done for good. Will there be a sequel? Who knows? There are definitely scenes that I've imagined that didn't make their way into the story. (Wedding, anyone?) 

Anyway, I just wanted to say, thanks for reading! I had a lot of fun writing this story and reading all of your comments and reviews!

DFTBA :)

Swansae

\- April, 2015


	28. Announcement

Hi everyone,

I am excited to announce that the final version of Chihiro will be published over the next months under the name The Other World. Yay! The first chapter is already live on my profile. I will be trying to update it weekly (it's not completely done, but has so much promise, I promise.) I hope you all go over there and enjoy. Thanks for reading!

-Swansae


	29. A/N: I could really use your help!

Hi everyone,

I'm trying to start posting on a new platform - Tapastic. I would really appreciate it if you would drop by to check it out. The version posted there is revised from The Other World (again?! yes, I know, again, sorry :P), and if you've only ever read the drafts titled Chihiro you'll find many familiar elements but much better writing. I promise. If you are so inclined, head over to:

https://tapas.io/series/The-Other-World1

It means so much to me that all of you have stuck around this long!

Swansae


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